Temptation
by destielshipper
Summary: AU. Castiel Novak, a depressed and quiet priest in North Dakota is living a quiet life as he battles with his sexuality, the arrival of a stranger breaks down his defenses and when he invades his life can he resist temptation?
1. Chapter 1

Looking outside at the orange sky of the setting sun, Castiel Novak sighed after another long day and tugged his priests dog collar off and threw it to the side as he looked around his empty bedroom.

Forced into a job he never really wanted because of his "sin" was not the life he dreamed off, his father discovered his secret when he was 16 years old and his punishment was to be something he dreaded.

He trained for many years in the church and when he turned 25 years old, he moved to the State of North Dakota and into a little village where he was appointed and hired as the local priest there.

The job he held, the authority, the bible and his teachings forced Castiel to forget his feelings, his sexuality and the fact that he liked men more then women. A gay priest would be frowned upon in so many ways, so he forgot his sexuality and committed himself to his work.

It worked perfectly for 3 years, his mind wandered sometimes when he was doing a service and he caught sight of a handsome man but he took to the bible and pushed it away, terrified as he knew of his sin and how God must be testing him. But the arrival of a certain gentleman took his breath away and he didn't even know his name.

Castiel was lighting the candles when he came in silently and looking around the church in awe. He turned to look at him and was shocked by his male model looks, he saw a good looking face, green eyes and brown hair and his breath was taken away as he looked down and licked his lips nervously.

"May I help you?".

The man jumped startled as his presence. "Oh I'm sorry for interrupting...I'll go".

"No! Er no sorry" he stuttered and mentally kicked himself as he took a deep breath and looked up at him. "Please, what did you want to ask?".

"Nothing really, I came for a look around because my brother lives around here, Sam Winchester?".

Castiel nodded in reply as he looked at him, his lips and eyes.

"Yes, he comes once in a while, why are you here?".

"Escaping my demons" he muttered as he looked around and back to him with a small smile.

"Demons?".

"It don't matter, self problems and shit like that...back home in Kansas I came to church a lot because of certain stuff and since I am moving here, I thought I would get familiar".

Castiel nodded as he listened to him and clasped his hands together.

"Well I'm Castiel Novak, the local priest" he said and held his hand out, Dean blinked and shook it quickly. He felt a tingle as he shook his hand, a feeling flooding his stomach as he looked up at him and removed his hand quickly.

"Well I better get back to my brother, he'll think I'm lost, it was nice to meet you" he said with a smile as he flexed his hand and moved away and out the door. Castiel collapsed against the wooden beam and took a deep comforting breath but flinched as he inhaled his aftershave that lingered in the air.

It hit him a moment later that he never asked his name.

Sitting in bed he removed his reading glasses and put the bible down as he switched the light off and lay back in bed, the loneliness filling him as he chocked back his despair and turned over praying for sleep.

~0~

"It's so good to see you" Dean said as he hugged his younger brother close.

Sam hugged him back tightly and looked at him grinning.

"It's good to have you here Dean".

Dean was moving in with brother as he needed to leave Kansas, to get away from the nightmares and memories at last, Sam was in the University of North Dakota and with loans and funds he was able to rent a little house in the village and was more then pleased for Dean to move in.

"It's small and smells" Dean commented as he moved his stuff in.

"But it has a church you little bible basher!" Sam smirked as Dean raised a finger at him.

"I don't read the bible! I go there and you know why".

Sam's amused face turned serious and he nodded. "Well it's over there, go have a look and meet the priest, he's a nice guy".

Dean walked over and opened the door as he looked in and at the time he didn't notice the priest in the corner lighting candles and jumped startled when he addressed him. He looked at him shocked taking in bright blue eyes, black hair, hint of a stubble on his chin and the priest clothing, he was an attractive man.

He stopped him from leaving and when Dean shook his hand he felt a spark run around him as he looked at the priest in wonder, he looked nervous and couldn't look at him properly and he knew he had to leave him to it and left with a smile as he looked back at him and felt the heat of his eyes on his back.

He walked out of the church feeling light headed and strange, that was a surreal experience.

He looked around the tiny village as children ran up and down screaming and playing, neighbours watching him as he walked up and gossiped with each other.

"Ah you have village gossips" Dean called as he walked in and shut the door.

"Oh I know, you get used to it!" Sam called from the kitchen.

Dean looked around as he admired the self decorating. "Who helped you do this?".

"My neighbour Harriet helped me out" he said and Dean flashed him a look.

"Don't do that! She is in her 40's".

"An older woman, that's my boy" he grinned as Sam gave him his best bitch face and threw a tea towel at him.

"The priest seems nice" he muttered as he looked down.

"Oh yeah, he is but a bit quiet and remote, I think he's slightly depressed".

"Why?".

"I don't know I think maybe loneliness, I mean he has no family, he spends all his time in the church and has no one at home, it's sad and all the ladies want to comfort him but he doesn't accept their help".

Dean nodded slowly as he listened to Sam, it sounded a bit like him at home and he closed his eyes at the flash of memories. He didn't want to think about that no more, it hurt too much.

So he made his choice, he would be there for this stranger and why he didn't know.

The next day as Sam went off to university, Dean headed down to the church.

Castiel was stood at the alter flicking through the bible slowly when the man came in again, he clutched it tightly with one hand as he smiled at him slightly.

"I forgot to tell you my name, it's Dean".

"Dean Winchester I guess?".

He nodded as he walked up the aisle towards him and stopped at the front of the alter.

"Can I help you?".

"Yes, I want to help out in here".

"Excuse me?" Castiel whispered startled.

"You heard, I want to help out...gives me something to do while Sam is studying and I can look for a job, I won't need paying because it's something I want to do" he said and smirked at his shocked face.

"You are interested in the bible?".

"No, it's strange I know believe me I get it a lot but it's childhood memories and things that have happened in my past that made me want to come here, it's like a sanctuary and I want to help you".

"You hardly know me".

He shrugged and leaned against the alter drumming his fingers, Castiel watching them in fascination and then looked at his lips as Dean wet them with his tongue.

"Plenty of time for that, I'm here for the long run father".

"Please call me Castiel".

Dean nodded in approval.

"Like I said, I'm here for a while Cas".

Castiel looked at him in surprise at the sudden nickname but didn't protest as he felt a little flutter in his heart as Dean smiled at him again.

"Very well, you can start here today if you wish, fancy watering flowers?".

Dean scoffed amused as he shrugged at him. "Up for anything".

Castiel smiled a little as he gestured at him to follow him to the back of the church to a cupboard and handed it to him.

"Tap in the little kitchen" he said as he noticed their proximity and how close they were as he looked up to his green eyes and they flashed to his lips.

Dean noticed and gave him a curious look as he took it off him and Castiel moved away swallowing.

"I'll get right to it".

Castiel nodded quickly and closed his eyes breathing slowly, this was now going to be very difficult. He already felt attracted to this new man, this stranger who had come into his life out of nowhere and to work with him everyday would test him to his limits.

Dean filled it up as he wondered over what happened, he seen Castiel's look towards him, he seen his breath quicken and his eyes flicker to his lips, maybe this depressed and quiet priest had a secret of his own. He was going to have a little bit of fun with this if his thoughts were right.

He walked back out and seen Castiel waiting for him.

"I'll get right to it" he breathed into his ear as he passed and watched as Cas breath stilled and he looked at him with intense eyes as Dean smirked to himself and carried on back to church.

Castiel felt his heart clench at his warm breath in his ear, the smell of that aftershave so close to him as desire pooled in his stomach and as Dean walked away he muttered a "Hail Mary" to himself and prayed for forgiveness, he knew this was all going to end badly if his limits were pushed.

**Priest fic ;) be a sweetheart and review! Thank you.**


	2. Chapter 2

"I still can't believe your helping out" Sam questioned as they sat in front of the TV and shared a pizza, Sam doing his essays in the process.

"Yeah, I mean why not? The guy needs some help in there and I guess he kinda needs a friend.." he muttered as he finished off his pizza.

"You got here what 3 days ago and already working in the church for nothing and using a lonely priest for your own comfort".

"You make me sound like I'm out for myself here".

"Well aren't you?".

Dean looked away as he considered, Sam snorting amused as his silence confirmed it all.

"Yes and no okay! Look I kinda need his help, he might be someone I can eventually talk too...like a shrink".

Sam crossed his arms and glared at him suddenly annoyed.

"He isn't your councillor Dean, he teaches the teachings of the Lord, does Sunday mass and that, do us all a favour and drop it now".

"No way and anyway, I think he has a secret".

"A secret?".

"Yeah, he is very mysterious I kinda like the guy for that".

Sam rolled his eyes and could see the mischievous glint in his eye. "Don't do anything stupid Dean like trick him out of it, if it's secret then it's one for a reason".

"Shut up and do your homework!" Dean growled at him as he went to get a beer from the fridge.

Dean didn't truly understand why he wanted Castiel around, it was his presence and the fact he was a priest and he would understand him, he could talk to him if he wanted to.

The last 3 days had been strange for him, Dean brushed his hand over his once by accident and he tensed up and moved away so quickly. He was avoiding all physical contact like he was afraid or something.

That night as he slept, random nightmares and memories flashed in his dreams and he woke up covered in sweat and shaking. Grabbing the space keys to the churchand pulling on a pair of joggers and white t-shirt, he wrapped a coat around himself and looked at the time 1.38am.

He walked out into the darkness of the cool night and headed straight to the church, he needed to be there now. He unlocked it and was greeted by the warm glow of the candles, he stood for a moment confused and then realised he must of forgot or Cas did. Closing the door quietly behind him, he went to the row of seats and sat on them with a sigh as he pulled his knees up to his chest and sat for a moment in silence.

He felt stupid and silly, a grown man running away from his nightmares but when you did it as a child it was hard to let go of that routine in your mind that when you were afraid you could run and be protected.

~0~

Castiel who was in the back office of the church staring into space as he twirled a pen in his hand heard a bump and braced himself, robbers coming into mind as he grabbed a full bottle of red wine from the cupboard and slowly walked into the church and stopped in surprise.

"Dean?".

He looked up and blinked startled. "What are you doing here?".

"Stole the question right out of my mouth".

Dean smirked at him as a tired looking Castiel sat a few inches away from him and looked at him in concern. Dean glanced at the bottle of wine and up at him in amusement.

"You planning on getting drunk oh holy one?".

Cas looked down and shook his head quickly. "I thought you were robbing the place, it's a weapon".

Dean tilted his head back and chuckled at the thought of Cas fighting off robbers with a bottle of wine, Cas looked at him in wonder as he placed it on the floor.

"What are you doing here Dean, its 1am".

"Same goes for you".

"I struggle with sleep, the doctor says I have insomnia so I come here and I write...now why are you here?".

Dean looked at him and looked away feeling stupid again as he shifted.

"It's stupid".

"Tell me".

"I had a nightmare, it's pathetic really I mean I'm 27 years old and I am afraid of a nightmare...I came here for peace of mind" he whispered as he looked up at the cross over the alter.

"It's not stupid, if this is your comfort then so be it...may I ask what the nightmare was about?".

"I'm not ready to tell you that just yet".

Castiel nodded and smiled a little. "We have all the time in the world when you want too, I'm always here".

Dean felt comfort at that as he turned to look at him, Cas looking up at the exact moment as they locked eyes. They searched each others eyes and something sparked between them before Cas dragged his away with a sigh.

"Do you like your job Cas?".

"Yes and no" he muttered as he attempted to ignore the sudden flutter in his stomach at the nickname he had now gained. "My father wanted this job for me and as a teenager I was made to take it, it has now became my life".

"So you never intentionally wanted it? Wow, I couldn't of done that, why not just leave it?".

Castiel rubbed a hand over his face and leaned back against the seat with a sigh.

"And do what? Work in an office, a shop? I have a life here and gained a home and a job, making my father proud of me".

"But you deserve to have a job that makes you happy".

"No I don't".

Dean frowned at him and his certainty that he wasn't allowed a job that made him happy.

"Of course you do".

"No Dean, I don't...if only you knew".

"Knew what?".

Castiel sighed deeply and didn't continue as he folded his arms across his chest and stared unseeingly into nothing. What Dean didn't know was Castiel couldn't stop thinking about him, he popped up in his dreams, in his thoughts when he wasn't there and Castiel couldn't bear it any more.

"Mr secretive now are we? I'll break down them walls eventually" Dean muttered as Castiel turned to him fearfully.

"Why would you do that?".

"See what's underneath that façade of priesthood, I reckon you have hidden depths, feeling, fears and secrets you are just wanting to explode with".

"My hidden fears, secrets and feelings could ruin everything for me, everything!".

Dean sighed and leant his cheek against his knee as he looked at him in wonder and concern.

"You seem so certain about that Cas, but who knows maybe it could make everything better, maybe a certain one could give you everything you have ever dreamed about and more".

Fear struck Castiel as he thought for one possible moment Dean had figured out his secret but that was impossible, it's been 4 days.

"If I did have a dream figuratively speaking then I couldn't have it".

"Why not?".

"It's out of my reach completely, if I ever got it, it would be a miracle".

Dean smiled at him for a moment and turned his head away.

"Never give up on your dreams Cas, cling on to the good ones as much as you can, who knows what the future will bring".

Castiel laughed for a moment. "Those are your wise words?".

"Yes!" Dean said as he got up stretching. "Cherish them" he winked as he moved past him his fingers brushing his hair lightly.

Castiel didn't know if it was on purpose or by accident but he closed his eyes at the feeling and the shiver that ran down his spine.

"I'll head back, I actually feel a lot better...you do wonders you know that".

Castiel felt a blush forming as he looked down at his feet feeling embarrassed. "Glad I could help you".

"You did, see you later Cas and try and get some sleep yeah?" he called as he wrapped his coat around him again and walked back out and back home.

Cas closed his eyes and knew he was in deep trouble, there was no stopping this. He could feel himself wanting to get closer to him, to create that bond of friendship and more but everything was screaming at him to do it and not to do it, a war inside him between heart and brain.

~0~

"So you moved here from Kansas" a woman shouted to him as Dean crossed the road the next morning.

"Yeah, living with my brother".

"Well I'm Ellen, my daughter Jo works in the local shop and it's very nice to meet you, cup of tea?".

Dean stared at her shocked by her hospitality, he was used to the whisperings of the other women so this was something new as he nodded and followed her in.

"Don't be so shocked, I am not like Claire and Marie the village gossips who stare and do nothing but make up stories for each other, apparently you came here to sabotage your brothers careers if I'm right?".

Dean scoffed offended as she laughed and placed a cup of tea in front of him.

"I know its lies but them two can get anything around and making it convincing, but I do here you are helping out Castiel".

"You use his full name?".

"Oh yes, he insists it because I try to speak to him when I can because he is a very sweet man, very lonely and I think he will need you".

"Does he have no family at all out there?".

"From what I have got out of him without him realising it by the way, his father is in France and he doesn't speak to him apart a few letters once a year, his brother and sister Michael and Anna are in New York, his other brother Gabriel is AWOL, no sign of him for 2 years".

"Shit" he breathed and she nodded in agreement.

"He just needs a good friend and I think you can be that for him".

He thanked her for the tea and went down to the church to see him outside talking to old folk as they thanked him for the service.

"I didn't know you had one today".

Castiel looked up at his him and smiled at him. "Yes, pity you missed it".

"I was with Ellen".

"Lovely women" he commented as he looked up at the blue sky and Dean saw the bags under his eyes.

"Did you sleep?".

Cas shook his head as he walked back inside, Dean following him.

"You need sleep Cas, working all hours of the day isn't going to help you it will just make you ill".

"I'll be fine! Right do us a big favour and clean the window, stuff in the cupboard as usual I have paperwork to do" he snapped and walked away from him.

Dean looked at it with a groan as he got a bucket and cloth as he started to scrub at it, he finished it in 20 minutes and went back to see him. He popped his head around the door and saw him asleep at his desk, he smiled gently and shook his head as he crept in.

He sighed deeply as he looked at his sleeping face. "What are we going to do with you?".

A lock of hair had settled on his forehead as he reached out and brushed it away gently and then pulled back as he shifted underneath his touch.

"Sleep tight" he whispered laying a hand on his shoulder as he turned away and left him to it unaware that at that moment Cas was dreaming about him and his secret desires being fulfilled.

**Be a dear and review it please! :) thank you.**


	3. Chapter 3

"You can hoover if your bored" Castiel said as he walked into to see Dean lying on the seats and pretending to drum.

"I'm bored yes but hoovering, you do it".

"Thought you wanted to help me out".

"I'm not your slave" he smirked as Castiel rolled his eyes at him.

"It's closed on Saturdays isn't it?".

"Yes".

"Please tell me you aren't sitting in here and doing paperwork" Dean said as Cas looked away looking sheepish.

"Cas! You need to take a break from it, God will not punish you for that".

"We live in a little village, there is not much you can do".

"Come for a walk with me then?".

Castiel eyed him confused as Dean sighed and sat up to look at him.

"I haven't seen it all yet, we are surrounded by bloody country, so come with me".

"Okay".

"Right come on, we are going now!" Dean said jumping up before looking at him closely and walking up to him so he was very close.

"Dean, what are you doing?".

Dean tugged the dog collar out and placed it on the seat and unbuttoned his top button, his fingers lingering on his skin.

"So you look more casual" he muttered and stepped back as Castiel let out a deep breath and nodded in agreement as he followed him out.

"I know somewhere, I found it once" Cas said as Dean nodded and followed him into the woods near the village and followed him into a clearing and a little river ran through it.

"Wow, you found this?" he said as he looked around amazed.

"Yes, I was walking one day and I come here to think sometimes".

Dean wandered in and sat down on the grass, Cas watching him as he walked near him and Dean tugged him down next to him.

"See it's good to get out and not stay in that stuffy church all day right?".

He nodded as he looked up at the sun and sighed feeling relaxed for the first time in months.

"So...I've been here a week, want to start telling me more about yourself?".

"No".

Dean nudged him in the ribs lightly as Cas smirked and shrugged. "Not much to tell, I mean apart from a bad childhood...".

"Ellen told me that your dad is in France and your brother and sister in New York, another brother AWOL".

"She's correct, Gabriel has just disappeared because he couldn't deal with the family issues, he had a huge argument with Michael, Anna and father took Michael's side and he fled...I woke up the next day and he was gone, father didn't care he was planning his move to France" he said bitterly.

"I'm sorry, that must have been hard".

He shrugged and leaned back on his elbows in deep thought. "Anna and Michael are in New York studying, I hear from her once in a while and father...well he doesn't care, he has Lourdes and his followers at the moment".

"Shit" Dean breathed as Cas looked up at him. "What I still don't quite understand is why he forced you into this job".

Castiel shifted uncomfortable as it touched upon that subject again and turned looking away from him.

"Come on just tell me".

"No, we all have our secrets and this is mine, you have a secret also...it causes you to have nightmares and it hurts to think about it".

Dean gritted his teeth and glared at him annoyed.

"So what I have to tell you mine first".

"If that is what you want".

He fought back a smile as he leaned towards him so he was an inch away from his ear. "I could just work it out, give me more time and I'll have it figured" he whispered.

Cas turned towards him and saw their lips were inches apart, Dean's eyes flew up to look at him his eyes intense as he dared him. He could see the struggle in Cas' eyes as he looked at his lips and looked scared for the first time all day as he forced himself away.

Dean closed his eyes in slight disappointment as he moved back and looked at the little river running down and still didn't have enough evidence to confirm his theory.

Cas knew that was very close, he almost gave in and he also knew he was falling fast for him after a week, but he couldn't let it happen.

~0~

The next day after mass, Castiel decided he needed to talk to someone and went to the only person who would understand.

"Oh hello Castiel" Ellen said surprised as she opened the door.

"Ellen, I hope this isn't a bad time" he said nervously as she opened it and let him in.

"Of course not, sit down, do you want a drink?".

He shook his head and sat on the couch as he looked around the living area. "Where's Jo?".

"Sam's at the moment" she called as she came in and sat next to him. "What did you want Castiel?".

"Someone to talk too, apart from Dean I consider you a friend".

She smiled warmly and nodded at him to continue.

"I don't even know where to begin or how to explain it".

"This is obviously troubling you and I think it has for a while, is part of it to do with Dean?".

"Yes, he's triggered it again".

"Castiel please don't take offence to this love but I have been thinking about this for a while...are you secretly gay?".

He stared at her shocked and nodded slowly as she placed her hand over his.

"Don't look so frightened, I promise you I won't tell a soul".

"I shouldn't...it's against everything I am meant to believe, its a sin!".

"That's just silly Castiel, you can't help who you are and how you feel, now Dean has triggered this off you say, so you feel for him already?".

Cas fidgeted nervously as he twisted his hands and nodded biting his lip.

"He came at the right moment in my life, he gives me something to look forward to everyday and I have never felt this way about someone before, it's been a week and already I can't get him out of my head".

"What's so wrong about that?".

"Because it's more then wrong! It can never happen, I can't allow it to happen".

Ellen shook her head at him as he looked down in despair.

"So you must push away and deny a chance of acceptance and possibly happiness for a job and a religion?".

"Yes, I have done it before and I can do it again but he is making it so hard! I feel he somehow deep down has figured it out and is pushing a reaction out of me".

"If he pushed hard enough and got you right were he wanted you would you do it, would you give in?" she questioned as he shrugged at her.

"I guess I would get to find out, but I could be wrong".

"Castiel you can not stop what you are or how you feel, you can push it away and force it to never exist but it is always there at the back of your mind and in your heart, one day he might figure it out and force this reaction out of you and whether you give in or not is your decision but just think about it for one moment, how good it would feel to give into them feelings".

He stared unseeingly as he imagined it for one moment and shook his head as it burned into the back of his mind.

"Dean isn't like me, well I don't think he is".

"Time will tell but my advice Castiel is this, when it happens and it will I reckon, go for it".

"I can't".

Ellen cocked her head in slight defeat as he clenched his fists together in determination of this, he wouldn't let it happen.

~0~

"What is this shit?" Dean said as he flicked through Sam's biology book in disgust.

"Science".

"Well done Einstein, half way there".

Sam glared at him as he snatched back, Jo grinning at him in amusement.

"You such a tease Dean".

"Natural talent" he said with a wink as she blushed and looked down at her book.

"No annoying jerk is what it is, why aren't you in the church or something you know go bother Castiel or something".

"No, I bother him too much as it is bitch".

"Oh he's with mum, well he was I seen him leave there before" Jo said popping into the conversation. Dean frowned at that it was always Ellen who started their conversations, not the other way around.

He decided he would go and see him, something must be up with him.

Castiel looked up and sighed inwardly as he saw Dean come in.

"I don't need you here today".

Dean frowned taken back as he stopped and looked at him.

"What's up with you?".

"Nothing, I just don't need you here at the moment, I can do it by myself and I won't need you tomorrow either".

Dean raised his eyebrows surprised as he folded his arms and nodded confused and glanced up at him. "Okay? Cas...have I done something wrong?".

"No! Look just...leave me alone okay? You've done a fantastic work but I can take it from here from now on, go look for that job and earn some money".

"But I want to help?".

"I don't care".

Dean felt the shock ripple through him as his mouth fell open slightly and he snapped it shut and glared at him.

"Fine, if that's what you want".

"It is".

Dean couldn't help the feeling of hurt as Castiel looked away coldly and waited him to leave as he turned away and walked away slamming the door behind him loudly.

The noise echoed around Castiel as pain rippled through him and he clutched the alter, it was painful for him but he knew it was for the best. Cas closed his eyes as he attempted to push away the hurt he seen in Dean's eyes.

Dean stood outside confused and slightly hurt by these bizarre turn of events, it made no sense as he looked back at the door but knew it was useless and walked away from the

church feeling a sense of annoyance over it all.

The next few days, Cas and Dean avoided each other as much as possible, Dean angry not knowing why he was being all of the sudden pushed away and Castiel upset because he missed his presence more then anything.

Castiel watched from afar as Dean and Jo bonded, he seen them walking down the road together laughing and talking, he felt jealousy and envy for the first time as he watched them.

After a week of not talking to each other, Dean had enough and confronted him after mass.

"What do you want?" he asked avoiding his eye contact.

"An answer to why all of the sudden out of fucking nowhere you decided to push me away with no real explanation, I told you I wanted to help out because I wanted to at the very beginning!" he hissed at him as Cas flinched a little.

"I believe I don't need the help as much as I thought I did".

"Bullshit, you just don't want me around any more or I have done something to upset or offend you because the simple fact is, you won't even look or speak to me now!".

"Dean please, this isn't to do with you" Cas pleaded looking up at him.

"I don't believe it or you, you are different from who I thought you were Cas".

Castiel swallowed as the pain lashed him again and he looked down at the floor as he gritted his teeth from making a sound.

"Like I said it isn't to do with you, it's me! Now please...just go".

Dean scoffed in disbelief and went to walk away but turned back to look at him.

"Unbelievable, well someone's true colours have been revealed at last, you push people away then even when they want to help you and be your friend? Thought so, goodbye Castiel".

The shock at hearing his full name come from him hit him hard as he watched him leave again and felt his knees start to buckle underneath him as he turned away and pressed his lips together to fight back the emotion as he looked up at the cross.

"Is this some sort of tortuous test? Because if it, it's working!" Cas whispered up to it as he pushed himself away and went to his office sitting heavily in his chair as he picked up his pen, emotion built up at the back of his throat and a tear slid down his cheek as old waves of despair washed over him once again and he never felt more alone.

**It gets better... aha, anyway please review it lovely people :)**


	4. Chapter 4

"You're not gonna try and speak to him again? Oh come on Dean this isn't like you, you just don't give up like that".

"It was either walk away or I punched him! Hey I don't even properly know the guy, he just used me for his own needs and when he had enough it was like see you later!".

Sam rolled his eyes and looked at the time.

"I'm going to bed, try and get some sleep" he muttered.

Dean sighed and nodded as he watched him leave, he looked around the room and felt nervous. It was all dark and he was alone apart from the occasional movements of Sam upstairs getting ready for bed.

A sudden realization came to him as he snatched up his phone and looked at the date in horror, he closed his eyes and threw it down as it had arrived again. The anniversary of this day and the memories along with it were too much for him as he left everything behind and went for a walk.

The next morning Sam looked into Dean's room and frowned at the bed which was untouched and not slept in, he wandered downstairs to look for him and seen his phone and keys still left in the house and no sign of Dean.

He pulled on his jacket and went to look for him and spotted Castiel outside the church putting a poster on the door.

"Cas!" Sam cried and he spun around looking frightened as he saw him.

"Sam?".

"Hey, you seen Dean at all this morning or even last night?".

"No sorry, why what's happened?".

"I actually don't know, I woke up and he's left his phone and keys behind, his bed is not slept in and I think I heard him leave last night".

Castiel looked at him startled as he cast an eye around the surrounding village and the quietness of the early morning.

"I haven't see him".

"Thought he might of come here, thanks anyway" he sighed as he turned to walk away but stopped as a thought came to him. "Hold on, what's the date?".

"November 2nd".

Sam closed his eyes and shook his head. "It's today...shit! Thanks Cas".

"Wait! Why is that date so important to why he has disappeared?".

"I guess he never told you then".

An ache started in his chest and he shook his head as Sam looked away with a sigh.

"Our mum died on this date, but that's not the half of it...I'll leave it up to him to explain, if you see him call me yeah?".

Sam darted off as he went to Ellen's, Castiel looked after him and blinked as he wondered where Dean could possibly be and then it hit him.

He wrapped up warm and headed over to the river and to the spot he had shown Dean all them weeks ago and prayed he was there.

Dean felt frozen as he sat in the same position and stared into nothing, it was calm all around him apart from occasional birds swooping in and out over the water, he heard movement behind him and looked behind startled and then groaned as he saw Cas walk over.

"Sam is looking for you, he's worried" he said as he sat down next to him.

"Well I'm fine, what you doing here?".

"I was worried and I knew deep down you would be here, you liked it and no one else apart from you and me knows where it is so I automatically assumed and I was right".

Dean looked at him annoyed and sighed as he stared stubbornly away from him.

"You look frozen, how long have you been out here for?".

"All night...why do you care?".

"Because I do" he muttered and looked down at the grass.

"Thanks for the concern, I am fine so you can go now and go back to ignoring me".

He sighed and felt the hurt at his words but knew they were reasonable.

"No, Sam told me what happened today all them years ago, your mother died?".

Dean swallowed hard and clenched his numb hands and hissed out in pain, Cas seeing this reached over and took both of his hands and covered them with his gloved ones to warm them up.

"What happened Dean?".

Dean looked down at their hands and up to him baffled and let it be as the warmth was very welcoming.

"I was 4 years old and one night I heard a bang and voices downstairs, dad was working the night shift so it was me, mum and Sammy in the house alone but I wanted to know what was going on so I went downstairs and seen strange men robbing the place so I hid under the table terrified, I watched as she came downstairs and she startled them...they didn't expect to see her.." he trailed off and looked away towards the trees as Cas felt the horror building up inside him.

"What did they do?".

"They shot her point blank range because the gun that one of the men was holding was loaded and armed, he spun around and pulled the trigger in reaction...they panicked and fled".

Castiel drew in a breath of horror as he looked at the side of his face, Dean lost in the memory of that night.

"I had no idea what it meant, she was just on the floor so I ran upstairs and went to Sam who was awake and not making a sound like he knew, I took him in my arms and I went downstairs, out the door and took him to the church which was still open after mass, I crept in and I stayed there until people came looking and the priest found us".

"Dad came home and I watched from afar as the police told him, he ran up to us in tears and hugged me and Sam so close... I didn't realise till I was older that she was instantly killed and what I had witnessed was her murder".

Castiel bit his lip hard and clutched his hands tight around his in built up emotion. "So that's why you come to the church when you're afraid?".

"I had so many nightmares after that, I was terrified they would come back for us so I ran to the church all the time for safety, dad always understood and when I wasn't in bed he would find me outside...he fell into depression and took to drink after it all, I practically raised Sam...he died a few years ago from liver failure".

"I'm so sorry Dean, truly I am, no child should ever witness that kind of evil" he whispered as Dean looked up at him and a tear dropped out his eye. Cas took one of his hands off his and caught it with his finger brushing is away as they looked into each others eyes, his hand rested against his cheek.

"That's my secret, the one I have just told so willingly to a guy who I haven't spoken to in 2 weeks" he whispered.

"I'm so sorry about that as well I know you believe it is your fault but it's not, it's my doing because I have too".

"Why?".

Cas shook his head gently as Dean leaned closer to him.

"I told you mine, you tell me yours".

"I can't".

"Oh really?" he whispered gently.

Castiel looked at him and how close they were, Dean's eyes were intense again as he tested him to his limits and felt he something inside him give in, his heart won the battle. He knew it was wrong and he was defying everything he believed in but he couldn't stop himself as they leaned towards each other and gently kissed.

An explosion of feelings made them selves known as they parted and Dean smirked at him.

"Knew it" he murmured against his lips as Cas kissed him again, Dean clinging to him as he deepened it. The soft moan Cas made sent sparks of desire shooting around him as they kissed, his mouth and tongue soft against him as he explored and tasted his mouth.

They drew apart after a while as they took in that much needed oxygen as Dean looked at him in surprise and wonder, Cas feeling the horror of his actions dawning on him.

"That's your secret? You're gay?".

"Yes...but what about you, I mean..." he trailed off gesturing between them as Dean shrugged.

"I'm bi-sexual".

Castiel took in a deep breath as he panicked inwardly. "We shouldn't have done that! I am servant of the Lord, this is a sin and frowned upon in so many ways".

"So you regret it?".

"I have to! I have to leave" he hissed as he pushed himself up and walked away quickly.

"Cas!" he shouted after him but he ignored him and carried on walking back. Dean closed his eyes with a sigh as things just got even more complicated.

~0~

Dean pushed the door open and walked into the church and stood looking at him as Castiel glanced up from the alter.

"I have a service in 20 minutes, make it quick".

"We just going to ignore and pretend about what happened before then?".

"Nothing happened".

Dean scoffed and looked at him angrily. "Don't start that shit with me! It did and you know it did".

"Fine! It happened but it was a huge mistake because I can't do that Dean, you pushed me into it and like you said you knew it, you wanted an answer and you got one but that's it, no more".

"What are you so afraid of? It's a kiss not the end of the world".

"You don't understand do you and I don't think you will, I'm a priest and I can not give into temptation and sin, I'm being tested and before I lost it but not now".

"I was just your freaking test? You're a dick... and we'll see what happens shall we, last time I walked away but not now, I am sticking around and lets see how long it takes before you give into temptation shall we?".

"Why would you do that?".

"Because I like you, I really like you and that's odd for me, I mean you are a priest and it's wrong but sometimes you have to throw away the rule book and make your own rules".

Castiel glanced up at him and was shocked by his words, Dean raised an eyebrow and turned away from him and out of the door in determination.

That Sunday, Dean decided to go to Sunday mass with the rest of the village and watched him in his element from the back with a small smile, he knew he hated the job but knew what he was doing and teaching.

Jo came up and leaned next to him.

"I'll probably go to hell for saying this but he is one gorgeous man, he's been here years and I have never really noticed it but when you do, I wouldn't say no".

Dean snorted with laughter as people near them turned around to shush them both, Dean grimaced in apology as he looked up and caught Cas' eye and shrugged.

"You think?" he whispered to her and she nodded quickly.

He looked up and inwardly agreed as he thought back to their kiss, he couldn't stop thinking about it and even though Cas was avoiding him he often caught him sneaking glances.

"Did Sam tell you about his new girlfriend?".

"Yes, wants me to meet her".

"She's so nice, you'll like her" she whispered and smiled up at him.

After the service, Cas greeted them at the door as they thanked and spoke to them about their daily life and problems they had.

"Thank you father that was lovely, I wondered if I might have a word" a little old lady who lived across the road said and he smiled at her.

"Of course, just go back in and I'll join you in a second".

Dean came up close behind him and hovered over his ear

"Oh yeah that was a lovely service, well done" he breathed as Cas went rigid and looked back at him with scared eyes.

"Don't".

"I haven't done a thing, I was just thanking you".

"Oh yeah up close and personal?".

Dean smirked at him amused as he looked towards the elderly lady at the front flicking through the bible gently as she read passages from it, he leaned forward quickly and placed a gentle kiss to the side of neck and moved away as Cas turned and watched him as he touched it gently.

"I'm patient Cas, I think me and you know what's happening here and there is no stopping it".

"That's what you think, we both know it's wrong!".

"Rules? Throw them away Cas and give in to your true self" he whispered and left him to it as Cas looked towards the woman and watched him leave a heavy weight on his heart again, yes he knew what was happening and what could possibly be inevitable but his will was strong and he would fight this till the end.

**:) ah I love the reviews, so please review this! Thank you.**


	5. Chapter 5

"Will you stop pacing you are making me nervous!" Dean said as he watched Cas walk up and down the aisle looking anxious. He glared at him and carried on biting his thumb as nerves kicked in.

"My boss who I haven't seen in a year is all of the sudden coming to see me, to check my progress and you're telling me to calm down, what are you even doing here anyway?"

"Last time I thought, I thought there was something called free will? I'm here because I want to be and you clearly need me, Cas!"

He jumped up and placed two hands on his shoulders to stop him. "Breathe okay? Deep breaths and calm down, you are hot helping yourself by getting worked up so come do it".

Cas breathed in and out slowly looking down at the floor before looking up at him.

"Thank you".

"Anytime"

Cas blushed a little and moved away from him as he looked around the place.

"This whole place is going to need a big clean, and since you are insisting are sticking around then you can help me out".

Dean grimaced as Cas smirked at him and headed towards the back.

"Do you want to help me?"

"You know I do" Dean muttered as Castiel handed him a mop and bucket.

"Get cleaning".

They worked throughout the whole day cleaning the place top to bottom, Dean finishing polishing when he came up behind Castiel who was in the back office sorting through paper work and placed his hands on his shoulders and leaned against him.

"What are you doing?" Cas said holding his weight.

"I'm physically and mentally exhausted please; please tell me that this is it".

"I have to carry these entire boxes home".

Dean looked at the boxes and groaned as leaned his forehead against the back of his neck. Cas tried to ignore the warm feeling that spread around him as he gently moved out of his hold and looked at him.

"You don't have to help me but if you did I would be eternally grateful".

"I'll help you but you have to pay me back big time" he smirked at him.

"How?"

"Oh I can think of a few things" he teased as Castiel blushed and looked away.

"Dean" he started to protest but Dean held up a hand to silence him.

"I know Cas, right where we taking them?"

"My house, I can work through them there".

Dean picked one up and walked out, Castiel watching him with a feeling of regret and something more.

2 hours later after delivering the last box to his house, Dean collapsed on Cas' sofa in defeat and exhaustion.

"This is too much like hard work, I could sleep for days" he whispered closing his eyes.

"You just haven't had a hard day's work that's all, stop moaning".

Dean looked at him amused as he looked around and caught sight of a photo of 4 people, he picked up and admired it.

"Your brothers and sister?"

"Yes".

"You look happy here" Dean said and put it down again carefully, Cas flashing him a look.

"Am I not happy now?"

"Hell no, you're depressed Cas and I think there is only one thing that could make you truly happy again".

"What is that?"

"Your own freedom…see your brothers and sister again…give into them feelings" he said and gave him a knowing look.

"You say it all like it's the simplest thing in the world to want them but I can't have any of them, not really".

He waked over and sat down next to him with a sigh. "But you are right, I am not happy and I haven't been in a long time".

"You work all hours of the day stuck in that poky place, hardly any sleep at all, no free will or freedom to be who you want, do what you want because you are so afraid!".

"You don't know anything" he muttered bitterly making Dean scoff in disbelief.

"I think I do Cas, I really think I do".

He leaned back and closed his eyes, his body feeling heavy and sleepy.

"Don't you fall asleep, I still need you".

"Give me 5 minutes" he mumbled.

Castiel rolled his eyes and leaned back next to him as he watched him out of the corner of his eye, looking at him carefully as he admired his features and watched the gentle rise of his chest as he breathed. He shrugged to himself and closed his eyes for 5 minutes also.

~0~

Dean opened one eye and was met with Cas' face, he backed away slowly and realised they were still on the couch, he felt stiff from his position and stretched as he looked at the time and gasped a little shocked it was 7.15am. They had been asleep for 12 hours.

_Holy shit!_ Dean thought as he looked at the sleeping Cas and how close they had been all night, if he had slept the whole time he had just had the best sleep of his life.

"Cas" he whispered and gently shook him awake. He muttered and shifted before opening his eyes and jumping back at the sight of him.

"What are you doing here?" he whispered as Dean stretched again.

"We fell asleep yesterday and we've slept 12 bloody hours, it's all your slave labour".

Castiel moved slowly as he worked out his kinks and bit his lip softly as he looked up at him. He hadn't slept that well in months, one night he is here and he sleeps soundly.

"First time in a good while I've slept through the whole night" he mumbled.

Dean smiled smugly as he looked at him. "Coffee or tea?"

"Coffee, one sugar".

Castiel watched him leave and never knew how good it was to wake up with someone and not feel all alone like he was used to, he closed his eyes and knew he had fell for him already. He joined him in the kitchen and watched as he walked around, his heart beat fast fondly as he helped him out.

"Never been here, do you blame me?"

"No, I would be the same in your kitchen"

"Sam's actually, and it's all clean and proper, always like that as a kid".

"Let me guess, you were the messy child?" he said as he stirred the coffee and sipped it savouring the taste.

"No" he said stubbornly.

Castiel laughed a little and looked at the time. "This is an awful time to be awake".

"Well I think we've slept enough don't you?"

Cas hummed in reply as he leant against his counter and drank his coffee.

"Town today I think".

"Why?"

"Essentials I need and a few things for the church I need to re-new and pick up".

Dean nodded slowly as ran he ran a hand through his hair and desperately craved a shower.

"Mind if I use your shower?"

Cas shook his head and watched him leave when it hit him, the man he was lusting after, who he desired more than anything was about to have a shower in his house and come out naked. He swallowed and bit his lip fighting back a smile as he placed his cup in the sink and washed it out to distract him.

Dean pulled open a cupboard and found towels; he smiled happily as he walked in and sighed as he attempted to figure it out. He switched it on and was quite smug that he figured it out by himself. He washed and cleaned himself and sighed relieved to wash yesterday's dirt and sweat.

Cas took a deep breath as he prepared himself to climb up and just go change and prayed he wouldn't see him, muttering a prayer under his breath as he climbed it. Dean came out wrapped in a white towel as Castiel reached the top and looked at him with wide eyes.

Dean laughed inwardly and gave him a look. "Close your mouth Cas".

He let out a deep breath and swallowed as Dean smirked amused and went into the spare room to change, Cas leaning against the wall in defeat.

"What are you doing to me?" he hissed upwards and closed the door to his room as he changed into casual clothes to go to town.

Dean put back on his clothes and went downstairs to wait for him and was very surprised when he did to see him wearing a light blue top and jeans.

"That brings out your eyes really good" he muttered.

"Really?" he said looking in the mirror and shrugged.

"You should wear casual clothing more often, you look really good".

Castiel smiled to himself as he zipped up his jacket and looked at him. "Thank you".

"Do you want me to come with you today?"

"If you want, I'm not forcing you".

Dean rolled his eyes and pushed him out the door. "Just come on".

They arrived into town and Castiel pulled out a list. "We need new curtains for starters".

"It's like we're moving into together" Dean muttered as he looked down at it, Cas' stomach fluttering at the thought but he flashed him an annoyed look instead.

They walked into a shop, Dean waiting as Castiel browsed around.

"There just curtains, pick some! He isn't going to judge you on your designs of curtains" Dean cried at him as he turned to glare at him annoyed.

"This is about my church as well; I want it to look nice".

Dean shook his head baffled as Cas eventually picked some curtains and paid for them and walked up to him.

"You can always go home if this is annoying for you".

"What and miss candle shopping? Never!" he muttered as Castiel gave him a look and walked out of the shop.

"Like I said if this is annoying you…"

He shook his head and smiled at him. "Look happy face! Let's go get candles!"

Castiel followed him shaking his head this time at him as Dean begged to let him choose.

"Fine, but only if they are suitable".

Dean touched his chest in mock horror. "Me choose something unsuitable?"

"Just hurry up!"

They spent the whole day together as they shopped and Dean helped him sort it out in the church, it hit half 5 when Sam started to call and demand to know where he was and when he was coming back.

"Thank you for your help these past 2 days, you've been amazing".

"Like I said anytime" he said with a sad smile as he looked at him.

Castiel bit his lip as that attraction between them sparked and he fought with himself yet again, it was a constant war inside him and he was starting to really feel the effects as Dean sighed and moved out of the church and went back home closing the door behind him. He looked at it and turned towards the alter wishing things were easier.

~0~

"You've spent practically 2 days with him you know, something you want to tell me?" Sam said as they eat dinner together.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know Dean but you and him…I don't know how to explain it, it's like you've formed some sort of bond and really quickly".

Dean shrugged as he stabbed at his food in deep thought, he did feel some sort of connection towards him and he had never wanted someone so badly in his life, he needed to get the ball rolling otherwise it was heading nowhere. He told Castiel he was a patient person but sometimes you need to take things into your own hand.

So as he finished and washed up he headed over to Cas' and braved the cold, his decision made in his mind.

Castiel was watching TV absently and not really focusing when he heard a knock and frowned in confusion.

He opened it in confusion to see Dean stood there in determination.

"Dean, what are you…" he began but was cut off as Dean tugged him by his collar towards him and kissed him hard. He gasped underneath him and Dean deepened the kiss as he pushed him back into the house and up against the wall of the hallway.

Castiel's feelings took over as he kissed him back and gave in as his hands went to the back of his hair and gripped him tight. Dean moved from his mouth as he took in oxygen and went into his neck as he sucked and nipped on it lightly, Cas moaning underneath him.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I have spent two days with you, slept over unintentionally at your house and been out this stupid village with you and I've loved it, and I know you have too! I'm sick of tiptoeing around this Cas, this feels right".

"But it's wrong" he murmured in despair as he ran his fingers across the back of Dean's neck and looked him hard in the eye.

"I don't care, I want you and I need you in my life in every possible way…I told you I was patient and I am but this is killing me! Tell me once and for all what you want or I'm going because I can't do it anymore".

Cas looked away as he breathed hard and the war between his heart and brain fought it out, Deans words made him more confused than ever and he knew it was so wrong but to have him here right in front of him, warm and pleading with him made him want him even more.

"Throw away the rulebook?" he whispered as Dean smirked and nodded.

"Make our own rules" he whispered gently in his ear, the hot air making Cas shiver as he placed both hands on the side of his neck and nodded.

Castiel leaned towards him and claimed him as his own with a fierce kiss he had wanted to give him from day one, Dean biting his bottom lip slowly as they explored each once again.

"You're a corrupter" Cas gasped as Dean bit down on his neck softly leaving his mark as he kissed it better.

"Yeah, well I was always going to hell".

"Not funny" Cas said narrowing his eyes as Dean apologised by kissing down his neck lovingly.

"You 100% sure about this, because no turning back now?" Dean said as he wrapped his arms around him.

"100%" he whispered as he held him close and felt that little bit of happiness he had longed for so much.

**Pretty please review! Won't be another till Monday because my 18****th**** birthday tomorrow so enjoy lovelys! **


	6. Chapter 6

Dean stroked his cheek softly and looked into his eyes.

"Stay with me tonight, I don't know why but I sleep better with you here".

"It's because I am such great company" Dean smiled at him as continued to stroke him liking the roughness of his stubble.

"I would have thought you would have put up more of a fight".

"I was, I still am but I am growing tired of it all, I am tired of being alone" Cas sighed and tilted his head as Dean went back to his neck, he closed his eyes at the new feeling. He gripped the back of his hair and kept him in place as he did a trail of love bites down his neck.

"Ah shit, you are going to have to cover them up somehow" Dean said amused as he looked at his work.

"Right, you are going to let go of me, so I can close the door and get sense of this whole situation" Cas muttered and Dean let him go as he shut the front door and leaned on it for a moment as he got his breath back.

He turned to look at Dean who looked puzzled as he thought over something in his mind and grabbed his hand and pulled him towards him. Wrapping his arms around him again he leaned his cheek against the side of his head and sighed.

"Just thinking about something now, I know you aren't allowed alcohol, drugs, shit like that but something came to mind…no sex".

Castiel blushed and looked away from him.

Dean grabbed his chin and forced him to look at him. "Are you a virgin?"

Castiel grimaced as he fought himself out of his grip and then nodded reluctantly.

"Priest remember… it wasn't on the top of my agenda".

Dean fought back a smile as he leaned down and kissed him again, that explosion of butterflies he felt the first time erupting again at the feel of his lips against his and his touch.

"You're adorable, I hope you know that".

"I'm really not, it's sad".

"No, you are adorable and I will be your first time".

"Seriously?"

"No Cas, I'm lying, I'm just going to leave you like this" he said sarcastically until Castiel poked him in the ribs.

"Ah! You're silly, of course I mean it but I am not going to force you into anything like that right now because you are clearly not ready".

Cas narrowed his eyes at him before yawning and Dean held his hands up before running his fingers under his bags softly and dragging him into the living room.

"You need to catch up on years and years of sleep".

He tugged him down and wrapped a comforting arm around him. "You look exhausted after today, so sleep".

"This feels so strange".

"I can leave if you want; if it makes you uncomfortable…this is new".

In response Castiel shook his head quickly and placed it on his shoulder gently and closed his eyes, Dean stroking his arm gently over and over again, his breath becoming more even and slow as he fell asleep against him.

Dean held him close all night as he lay them down on the couch in a more comfortable position, Castiel laying on his chest as Dean slept on and off until it hit the next morning, his phone buzzed alerting him.

"_You either have a woman or you are up to something, you are out again"._

Dean frowned and responded with, _"Who are you, my stalker? I'm fine, breathe"._

He looked down at him and smiled to himself, this was weird and new for him as much as it was Castiel but it felt right, more than right. He looked towards the time and gently woke him up as he kissed the top of his head.

"Come on, you have priestly duties to do".

"No" he moaned and turned away from him as he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Fine, well desperate measures" he said as he pushed Cas off the couch and laughed at his startled expression.

"No need to be mean".

"I'll make it up to you, now up…isn't he coming today?"

Castiel closed his eyes and nodded slowly feeling a sense of dread at seeing his boss and the head of the church from across town.

"Can I just pretend I'm seriously ill or dead?"

Dean brushed his hair back and kissed him gently as Cas looked up at him.

"Well you would be no use to me dead or seriously ill now would you? It will be fine".

He knelt up and placed hands on the side of his neck. "This has to be a complete secret Dean; if we do this no one can know".

"I know that, of course I know that and if that's the only way then so be it".

Cas smiled happily as he pushed himself up and went to get ready, Dean walking over with him and helping him with the final preparations.

"Hello you!" Jo said as she walked over to Dean as she walked into the church.

Castiel looked up at her and smiled warmly as he carried on.

"What you doing here?"

"Sam asked me to see if I knew where you were and I found you here of course, but I am hugely bored so come into town with me?" she pleaded wrapping her arms around him.

Castiel glared at them now as he turned away and attempted to control that burning desire to claim him and say he was his.

Dean rolled his eyes as he looked towards Cas who had his back to them as he hesitated.

"It's fine, thanks for your help" he said turning back round as Jo grinned at him and tugged on Dean who was frowning at him.

"You sure?"

"Yes".

"Okay…I'll see you later okay?"

Castiel shrugged and moved away as he walked to his back office, Dean watching him in confusion. Jo tugged on his sleeve as he followed her out still confused to Cas' reaction.

~0~

"Zachariah, it is good to see you" he said as Zach greeted him warmly and looked around the place.

"It's better than I imagined or…when I last seen it, you have done a fine job for the village Castiel".

"I try my best" he muttered and Zach sat and clasped his hands together.

"So how are you? You finally beginning to enjoy the job, I understand you struggle with the burden?".

"No, no I enjoy the job, I do".

"Good! Very good, well I would like to see you in action, I will return to tomorrow for mass".

Castiel nodded as Zachariah cast an eye around again and walked out, he sighed in relief as he watched him leave and tugged his collar out and threw it across the room as he locked up and went back home.

Dean who had returned from a shopping trip with Jo feeling drained and mentally exhausted went to see him; Cas opened the door and looked behind him.

"What, no girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend? What…oh! is someone a little jealous?"

"Don't be ridiculous" he said as he let him in.

"I think you are, Jo is a friend…my only friend apart from you".

Castiel shrugged and avoided his eye contact as Dean grabbed him and tugged him towards him.

"Should I show you how absurd you are being?" he whispered into his ear as he backed him up against the wall, Castiel hitting it with a moan as Dean kissed him hard. Opening his shirt buttons slowly as he kissed him, Cas breathing hard as he undid the last one and trailed a hand down his chest slowly until he reached his belt buckle tugging it gently.

His hand brushed over the fabric covering his groin and his eyes widened as Castiel blushed, Dean smirking a little as he dropped to his knees and unzipped him slowly. Castiel knew what was coming as he looked up at the ceiling and muttered a prayer as Dean pulled them down slowly and took him out.

He gently licked his pre-cum gently and watched as Cas went rigid as he gasped a little, Dean teased him with his tongue as Castiel hit the wall with his hand with a loud bang and groaned at this new sensation. Dean took him fully in as sucked him hard and then gently, using his experience as a teenager guiding him.

Castiel fisted a hand in his hair as he gasped breathless and felt weak as he felt his knees buckle underneath him, Dean placing a hand on his waist steadying him.

"D-Dean" Castiel groaned as he felt himself going over the edge and he felt a tingle go through him and a strange new feeling flood him as his muscles contracted and he cummed hard into his hot waiting mouth with a loud moan.

Dean swallowing it all as he looked up at Castiel who was flushed red and panting as he looked at him dazed, Dean fixed and put him away as he stood up and pulled him into a deep kiss. Castiel tasting himself in his mouth and lips and the taste was unusual for him, Dean drew away and leant his forehead against his and smiled at him smugly.

"That's why you are absurd and Cas…that was your first orgasm and blowjob".

"Seriously?"

"Oh yeah".

Castiel closed his eyes as he pushed himself up off the wall feeling lightheaded as he kissed him again and felt a connection to him like no other.

"I'm yours Cas, okay? I don't like Jo that way, she is attractive I mean I would but…" he rambled on as Castiel nudged him hard to shut him up.

"Ow! Okay, okay I get it, you are so cute jealous".

"Shut up, I'm starving now".

Dean smirked as he bit his lip and trailed a hand down his still naked chest.

"Not that type of hungry, food hungry".

"Oh you are…not me" Dean said as Castiel shook his head at his one track mind.

"Well you can wait" he said as he gently pushed him away and went to the kitchen to make some food, Dean watching him as desire stirred inside him. This was just the beginning of everything for them but when one thing goes right in their lives, something very drastic is right around the corner threatening to tear them apart for good.

**I decided to write another chapter because I love this story **** thank you for my birthday wishes you lovely people 3 please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

"That him?" Dean murmured in his ear pointing to Zachariah, Cas nodded and swallowed deeply as he moved away from him slightly. Dean noticed and narrowed his eyes at his back as he sighed and moved fully away.

Castiel looked back at him with apologetic eyes as Dean rolled his eyes with a hint of a smile and walked away from him and went outside to meet Sam and his new girlfriend Jess.

"Who's the new guy?" Sam said nodding towards him.

"Guy called Zach, seems a bit of a dick but he's here to observe Cas".

Jess watched him for a long moment and watched interested as Dean caught Cas' eye and winked at him inconspicuously, Castiel fighting back a smile as he looked away. Her interest automatically peaked, that wasn't the normal act between two friends, and it seemed more intimate then that.

She looked towards Sam who hadn't noticed as he typed on his phone, Dean and the priest? She couldn't help the amused smile on her lips at the thought.

"What you smiling about?" Dean asked and she shook her head smiling at him as she tugged on Sam's hand.

"Oh yeah, town for lunch, see you later".

Dean saluted him as he watched them walk away; he shivered in the coldness of the day as he went back inside to see Zachariah and Castiel in a deep talk.

"I'm impressed with what I have seen Castiel, very impressed" he said.

Castiel nodded pleased as he snuck a glance at Dean who gave him a small smile, Zach turned and noticed him.

"Your friend?"

"Yes, he helps me out in the church for free".

Zachariah raised a surprised eyebrow at that and nodded at him as he looked around.

"Well I'll off, I'm sure we'll see each other soon" he said and nodded to him as he walked out and gave Dean a confused look.

Dean watched him get into a silver car and drive off when Castiel came up behind him and placed two gentle hands on the small of his back and sighed.

"Thank the Lord he is finally gone".

"I'll thank him" Dean muttered and turned around to look at him.

"How is job hunting going?"

"Slow" he muttered in distaste. "But Jo is asking for me, to have a job in the shop".

Castiel bit back his jealously and leaned his forehead against his back, Dean smiling to himself at his jealously.

"Father?" a voice said causing Castiel to jump and move away to see a little old woman walking towards them.

"Ah hello Marie, how can I help you?" he said with a tight smile.

"It's about that problem, my son…the sinner".

Dean's eyes went wide as he glanced at him and pressed his lips together in amusement as he walked away, Castiel watching him with narrowed eyes as he turned back to her and nodded.

"Of course, come right in".

Dean was sat with Jess and Sam when a text came through from Castiel asking him to come around, he smiled at it. Jess watched him curiously as Dean got up and left his phone as he went to get ready, Sam was busy on his laptop typing when she snagged his phone and saw the message before pushing it back.

She felt bad for being nosy but she was so curious, was Dean sleeping with Castiel? The thought made her want to find out the truth.

"I'll see you two later" he muttered as he came back in and pocketed the phone.

"Why? Where are you going?"

"Oh…mind your business!"

Sam sneered at him as Dean smirked and walked away, Jess frowning in confusion. If nothing was going on he would have said, this was becoming more and more likely.

~0~

Castiel pulled him in and kissed him hard as he slammed the door behind him.

"Oh feisty" Dean muttered as he backed him into the living room.

"You have no idea how much I have wanted to do that all day!" he whispered as he kissed him again.

"Well you have too much clothing on for my liking so this can go" he said as he removed his shirt and threw it across the room. Dean kissed him back just as hard as he bit and sucked on his bottom lip trailing a hand down his back as he brought him closer.

"Dean…" he said quietly.

"Hmm?"

"I want you".

Dean frowned in confusion but as Cas kissed the side of his neck and then looked at him again it suddenly clicked.

"Oh" he breathed. "You sure? Big step Cas"

He nodded slowly and felt the nerves kick in a little but knew what he wanted.

"Well I am not doing it here, your first time is not being in a living room" he muttered as he grabbed his hand and took him upstairs.

Dean grabbed him and kissed him again as he pushed him into the bedroom and lay him down on the bed gently.

"I don't want to force you into anything Cas, please tell me you are sure and not going to regret this after?" Dean said as Castiel made a frustrated sound and looked him hard in the eye.

"What part of, I want you, do you not understand?"

"Oh shut up".

Dean tugged his t-shirt off and slid his hands up Cas' arms and pinned his wrists over his head as he took full control and kissed slowly down his chest, Castiel closing his eyes as he groaned underneath him clenching his hands into his fists.

Dean pulled something out of his pocket and placed it near his head, Castiel turning to look at them.

"We'll need it, believe me".

Dean slowly made his way down to his chest as he went to his pants and opened the button sliding them down and off as he looked up at him and did the same to himself so they were both fully naked. Dean bit his lip and looked him up and down.

"Shit Cas, you're gorgeous"

Castiel blushed and smirked at him as Dean returned back up to him and kissed him very gently, teasing him as he slid his hand his chest to his groin and then grabbed hold of him.

Castiel gasping in his mouth as Dean stroked him slowly; he clutched his duvet in one hand.

"Fuck!"

Dean laughed a little as this was the first time he had heard Castiel swear openly as he built up his pace and stroked him harder. Castiel tilting his head back as an orgasm and pleasure rippled through him and groaned loudly as he cummed hard into waiting hand and on to their stomachs.

"I think I like it when you are like this" Dean whispered as he wiped his hand and looked down at his flushed face and lustful eyes.

"Dean…" he moaned with need as he nodded and moved on top of him.

"Okay…you ready?"

Castiel nodded and kissed him on his throat gently as he sucked and nipped at it. Dean reached for the lube and looked down at him.

"This will hurt but only for a moment, I promise you".

He covered two fingers with lube and wrapped Cas' legs around his waist and gently slid one finger inside, he gasped at the intrusion and the slight discomfort but allowed it as Dean kissed him to distract him as he slid a second in widening him for entry.

He prepared him gently and slid them out just as gently as he grabbed the condom and put it on himself and looked in his eyes, blue matching green as he gently slid inside him. The pain was sharp and uncomfortable as Castiel gasped out load, Dean biting his lip as he adjusted himself inside him.

Castiel started to ignore the feeling as he kissed him, Dean thrusting into him as he moaned.

"Shit…Dean…" he gasped into his mouth.

"I know".

Dean going deeper as pulled him closer to him and gained a rhythm as he panted underneath him. This was Cas first time altogether but Dean's as well, it meant something for both of them, the connection they would gain could never be broken now.

Castiel latched on to his neck as he gave him his mark, Dean dragging his nails down his arms at the feeling as his teeth scraped across his skin lightly. He moaned as he leaned against his shoulder and knew he was close to the edge as he looked down at him, sweat mingling with his as he breathed hard and thrusted harder into him and climaxed inside him, the sound of Dean orgasm in his ear as he joined him with a shout.

Breathing hard against him as they came down from the high and thrill of it, Dean pulled himself up and kissed his sweaty brow.

"They always say your first time is sometimes the worst"

"Well there all wrong" Castiel muttered as he got his breath back.

"Really?"

Castiel brought him down and kissed him in response. "That was amazing".

"Good" Dean laughed as he pulled out and took the condom off and threw it in the bed as he collapsed next to him exhausted.

He closed his eyes and breathed hard and inside felt slightly smug, he did a good job. He didn't mean too but he fell asleep without realising it as Castiel shook his head fondly at him as he rested his cheek on his hand and looked down at him.

"There is definitely no going back now, I've just lost my virginity to you and I don't know if you can even hear me but I don't regret it, not for one second" he muttered gently as he brushed the hair on his forehead away and kissed it.

"I think I've fallen in love with you".

The only thing he truly regretted was his job, this was forbidden and a sin. If the church ever found out, he could lose everything he worked towards, his father would find out and punish him, and the control he held still in place.

Castiel ran a hand through his hair and felt intimidated as he looked up at the cross on the wall and bit his lip feeling guilty as he turned away and rested his head next to Dean and prayed that everything would remain the same, he could still have that freedom with him and keep his job.

But nothing remains the same, something always goes wrong and Fate was just around the corner waiting for the right time to come in and ruin everything, there are always consequences for your actions.

**pretty please review you lovely people!**


	8. Chapter 8

Dean woke up confused to his surroundings and looked to see Castiel asleep next to him, he kissed him gently on the forehead and got dressed as silently as he could and went to the bathroom to clean up.

Looking in the mirror he touched the love bite frowning. "Damn it Cas".

He knew he would have to say he had a random one night stand now or people would seriously question and gossip. He washed his hands and face before returning to the bedroom and shaking him awake.

"Look what you did you little vampire" he said and pointed at his neck.

Cas smirked and sat up looking at his work. "You give them to me, do you know how hard it is to cover them up? I am giving you a taste of your own medicine" he said pulling on his pants and standing up amused.

Dean pushed him back down and pinned him to the bed.

"You think this is funny?"

Castiel nodded and then seen the look in his eye.

"Dean" he warned.

He held him down as he moved to his neck and gave him his own mark, Cas closing his eyes and gasping as he sucked and kissed it hard.

"You…" he muttered trailing off as Dean kissed him properly this time.

"Payback is a bitch".

He pushed himself off him and ran a hand through his hair as he looked down at him.

"I'm going to head back or I'll get calls from Sammy again, so up you get" he said as he pulled him to his feet.

Castiel touched his neck and shook his head with a sigh.

"This is going to be difficult to hide now".

"I'm sorry"

"No you are not".

Dean chuckled and rubbed it with his thumb. "I'll see you later, okay?"

He nodded as Dean leaned towards him and gave him a goodbye kiss which left him breathless and lightheaded.

Dean walked back as he wandered in deep thought and greeted Jess who was at the door getting the milk.

"Oh, he returns…and with a huge lovebite! Who gave you that?"

"Someone special" he smirked as she followed him in and he pulled off his jacket.

"Does the special person have the same?"

"Oh I got my revenge".

Jess nodded and knew what to look for to confirm her theory as she smiled at him and went to make Sam his cup of tea. Dean went upstairs for sleep as Sam went to uni.

"I'll miss you" she said as she kissed him goodbye. Wrapping up warm she decided to go for a look around the village and go visit a certain person, she walked down the street and shivered in the coldness of winter.

Jess opened the door to the church and peered inside and saw him at the front in deep thought also and he looked up at her with a small smile.

"Jessica isn't it? Sam's girlfriend?"

"Yes, I am just looking around and wanted to introduce myself".

She wandered in and looked in awe. "This place is beautiful; I have never really been to church before…my parents weren't religious".

He looked around as she approached and looked at him carefully but couldn't see anything.

"So this is all yours?"

"Yes, well not mine officially but I run it as best as I can".

She nodded and smiled warmly as she stood and looked at him. "Dean helps doesn't he?"

"Yes, when he wants too" he said fondly and Jess bit her lip with a smile at his tone. He turned his head and she peered and saw it covered, her mouth fell open in surprise but she closed it as he turned to look at her again.

"Can I ask you a question and I know you don't know me at all but I can be quite good at reading people and figuring stuff out".

"Of course".

"You and Dean…you're more than friends" she stated rather then asked.

She watched as his face dropped slightly and his face went paler than usual, she held up her hands with a gasp.

"If I'm right, I mean no harm or threat…love is love but I am just curious because well I kind of seen it the other day, just a look between the both of you that seemed more and today he came in with a love bite and well" she said and nodded at his as he covered it with his hand.

"Oh shit, are we that obvious?"

"No! well maybe a bit, but Sam hasn't noticed and it's only me because I noticed it and well I wanted to know if I was right, which I am?"

He nodded and sighed deeply as he moved away and sat down. "You aren't the only one; Ellen also knows…she told me to go with the flow and let it happen, which it has".

Jess sat down next to him and listened to him as he spoke openly.

"You're a priest though, isn't this sort of stuff forbidden?"

"Yes very, the bible says it also, man shall not lie with man…all the natural order business of woman, man and two beautiful children" he said bitterly.

"Don't let that stop you Castiel".

He looked towards her surprised at her kindness and as she listened to him without question or hesitation.

"Do you love him?"

"Yes".

"Really? How long has it been since you two got together".

"Months ago, he came to me out of nowhere…wanted to help for some reason and we…bonded I guess and he was afraid of something, that something was his mother being killed and him watching…I think that's the moment I felt something more than just attraction for him because of his honestly and his trust that he had for me".

"There is nothing wrong with love, love is love whether between man and woman, man and man or woman and woman…times change Castiel, God made us in his image didn't he? So why would God hate his own creation for being what he made them?"

He couldn't help the small smile as he looked at her. "You are very wise".

She shrugged and patted him on the shoulder.

"I think though in time it might come out, don't be alarmed! But secrets never remain secret for long and if I have found out along with Ellen, how long do you think you can hold out for?"

"A good while, let me have him for some time before I lose him" he whispered sadly.

She nodded and sighed as she knew what would happen if it came out.

"Cling to what you have, but I'll always defend you if it does come out"

"Why would you do that?"

"Because he loves you…like I said, I am good at reading people and he does, the look he has on his face when you text him, he brightens when he sees you or looks at you".

Castiel blushed a little and smiled to himself as she smiled with him and left him to it as he sat alone and thought about him.

~0~

Dean walked into his house and winked at him as Castiel pulled him into a kiss.

"Did Jess tell you?"

"No, what?"

"She knows…"

Dean looked at him shocked as Castiel nodded in agreement.

"How?"

"Our love bites confirmed it all but she's been watching and adding it all up but she doesn't care, she actually said it was good and what we were doing wasn't wrong…she'll defend us if it comes out".

Dean blinked in surprise and looked down at him as Castiel looked back up and smiled slightly.

"I know there was a reason I liked her from the beginning, Sam did very well with her" he said as he wrapped his arms around and kissed his forehead.

Cas closed his eyes feeling content in his arms as rested it against his heart and listened to it.

He inhaled his scent and felt the memories of last night flood his mind as he looked up at him and pulled him into another kiss, Dean kissing him back as things grew heated.

"I left like a few hours ago, look what I've created already".

"Shut up" Castiel muttered against his lips as Dean pushed him against the wall, he moaned as he hit it and his wrists were pinned above his head.

"I think you get a thrill from control" Cas muttered as Dean moved slowly down his neck.

"Over you? Any day" he smirked as Castiel fought against his grip.

"Won't work".

Dean considered him as backed away slightly and hovered over his lips teasing him.

"Dean, don't" Cas pleaded as Dean back away again chuckling.

"You are adorable" he whispered and kissed him as he slipped his tongue in and let go of his wrists pulling him towards him when a thought occurred to him.

"How sturdy is your kitchen table?" he smirked as Castiel frowned at him in confusion.

"Very I guess, why?"

Dean gave him a look as Cas blinked surprised.

"You can't be serious".

"Oh deadly" he whispered as he backed him into the kitchen and up to the table and he hit it with a gasp, Dean lifting him on and Cas wrapping his legs around his waist.

"You break it; you buy me a brand new one understand?"

"Yes".

Dean grabbing the back of his hair and pulling him into a deeper kiss when his phone buzzed and he pulled away with a sigh leaning against his forehead as he pulled it out.

"From Jo, she needs to see me".

Castiel bit his lip lightly and nodded as Dean grimaced slightly and trailed his fingers down the side of his face.

"Why do you have to look so gorgeous and I have to leave, don't do the eyes Cas" he moaned as Castiel leaned towards him and this time teased him as he hovered over his lips and watched him closely.

"Oh you are evil" he muttered as Cas pressed a hand to his lips and pushed him away gently.

"You want it; you'll have to come back for it".

Castiel released him as he jumped down and smirked at him as Dean glared.

"Just give me one, please".

"No, come back and I'll give you one later".

"Evil!" he whispered as Castiel smiled at him.

He muttered under his breath that Jo would pay for this.

"You! What do you want?".

"You have the job! He said yes, Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, 9-3.30pm".

"Shit! Really? That's great, thank you!" he said shocked and hugged her tight.

"I know, you'll work with me on Thursdays as well, you can start next week".

Dean grinned at her as she tugged him into the shop to show him the works and what to do.

~0~

Castiel was working in the church the next day when Dean came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him.

"Dean, any one could come in" he warned.

"No they won't they never ever do, just wanted to say I think you are learning".

Castiel looked back at him confused. "Learning what?"

"Last night, who knew what you were really like when you take away his virtue" he whispered hotly in his ear as Castiel smirked and leaned his head against his shoulder.

"You deserved a reward for the job and I learnt it from you, you didn't seem to mind".

Dean groaned low in his ear as nipped it and kissed it lightly, Castiel turning in his arms to look at him.

"I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, I feel like something is coming and it's not good".

"You worry too much".

"No I'm serious Dean, I've felt it for a while so let me say this and don't question it okay?"

Dean nodded slowly and brought him closer.

"I love you".

Dean blinked taken back as he looked at him dazed.

"I've fallen in love with you, you've given me so much and I don't know why, I mean why me of all people in this village, you came to me and well look what was created…I have really fallen for you and there is no changing that now, but I am scared that something could rip us apart".

"Cas, nothing can okay? Not unless you let it happen and…I love you too…I really do".

Castiel brightened at his words as Dean nodded to the question in his eyes as he leaned down and kissed him tenderly, stroking his cheek with his thumb.

What they didn't know and couldn't unless they felt it, was a shadow in the window watching the scene unfold, the person knew something like this might be happening and knew they had to confirm their theories. The biggest backlash ever for his actions was coming now; he would have to make a choice the person decided, his life or his love.

**Hmm**** when this comes out, which it will, they aren't going to take any shit aha **** review please! Thank you!**


	9. Chapter 9

Dean felt him shift next to him that next morning and felt a trail of kisses down his neck as he slowly woke up.

"I was sleeping" he murmured and opened one eye to look at him

Cas smiled in response as he continued to kiss him slowly.

"I can't remember the last time I slept in my own bed, weeks I think".

"I like having you here; it's comforting to have someone near me when I sleep".

"Glad I finally have a use for you" he muttered and closed his eye again as he turned his head and went back to sleep.

Castiel watching him as he trailed a hand down his face and knew he could never lose this but was afraid he might as he went to get a shower; he had never fallen in love before so it was new and strange but he enjoyed the feeling, that protective burn inside him.

He was standing in front of the mirror after his shower looking at himself for a moment when he heard the door open and cold air come in the bathroom and arms wrap around his waist.

"You smell good" he muttered and inhaled him deeply and biting down on his shoulder. Cas hissing in reaction as he turned his head look at him.

"Mark me why don't you"

"You love it" he whispered and kissed it better.

"Lunchtime mass today, I have to get ready and prepare" Castiel muttered when Dean tightened his hold.

"Or you can just pretend to be very ill and not move from me all day?".

"Tempting but they rely on me and I'll have little old ladies coming around with bowls of soup and wanting to spend time with me".

Dean frowned at the thought and let him go as he went to get dressed, Castiel following him as he changed and looked at himself with a frown.

"I really do hate these clothes"

"You suit casual more".

"Maybe, are you helping me out today?"

Dean nodded with a small smile as he walked over and ran a hand through his hair fluffing it up for him.

"You look good when your hair is like that" he smirked as Cas pushed his arm away and looked at himself again.

"Yeah and I think we both know why".

Dean winked at him as he zipped up his jacket and kissed him gently.

"Going back home, I'll see you after mass".

Castiel walked up to the church and unlocked as he stepped in and shivered lightly and jumped when he heard movement.

"Hello Castiel, how are you this morning?".

"Zachariah? What…what are you doing here?"

"That's a very good question but you see I was curious and decided to investigate and what I saw well now know is not good at all Castiel, shame on you".

Fear built up inside him as he looked away from him and swallowed.

"Care to elaborate on that?"

"You and that boy! Really Castiel? God gave you a test and you had to give in to that?".

Castiel let out a deep breath as he looked down and knew he was in deep trouble as Zachariah folded his arms glaring.

"How did you find out?"

"Came back last night and had a look in on that window over there, he was all over you and you let it happen…what does the bible say Castiel? This is forbidden, a disgrace, a sin! I should go report you right now, you would lose your life you do know that don't you?"

"I couldn't stop it! I couldn't help how I felt about him, I wanted him and I fell in love!".

"Disgraceful! How could you do this? Give me one good reason why I should not go away, report you and then find that beloved father of yours?".

Castiel gasped and shook his head.

"You can't do that!"

"I am your superior, your boss and I can do as I wish! But, I like you Castiel and before this…disgusting and shameful deceit that you have caused and done you was an excellent worker and you love your job so you have a choice".

"No…" he whispered as he knew what was coming.

"Your whole life, job, house, money or him and I would choose wisely Castiel".

~0~

Dean stopped in confusion when he saw Zachariah's silver car hidden down the street and walked towards the church and heard raised voices as he hovered near the door.

"…you was an excellent worker and love your job so you have a choice".

He frowned more confused as heard Castiel whispered something and then heard dreaded words.

"Your whole life, job, house, money or him and I would choose wisely Castiel".

Dean scoffed and shook his head as he pulled open the door and looked at him. "Low blow you dick! Making him choose".

"Oh look it's here!" he hissed as Dean slammed the door behind him angrily, Castiel looking at him fearfully and back to Zachariah whose face was impassive.

"You are a corrupter, a priest really? Couldn't have your fun somewhere else you slut".

Dean felt anger build up inside him and fought to control it. "Oh it wasn't just me, it was both of us, does it matter that he is a priest? He doesn't seem to care when I am with him".

"Temptation…it's a silly little thing but so powerful, includes lust, desire, and maybe love but not for him, it's forbidden and he could lose everything all thanks to you! What was it, the challenge? Someone so out of your reach that you took him?" he sneered as Dean clenched his fist and went for him only for Castiel to reach out and hold him back.

"It wasn't just him! I wanted him from the moment he walked in here months ago, and you know the real reason why I have this job now don't you! You heard the story!" Castiel said angrily.

Zachariah glared at him and then nodded. "You are a disgrace to your father you know that, you disgust him so much, he never speaks of you or that brother, only Michael and Anna who he adores, such good children…imagine if he found out about this! He would kill you".

Dean saw red as he watched the words strike Castiel and as he flinched in pain as he looked away, he got out of his grip and punched him hard in the face. Zachariah reeled back in shock as he clutched his jaw, Dean shaking his hand in pain as he backed away.

"You little bastard!" Zachariah hissed and came for him.

Castiel seeing this stood in front of him protectively.

"Back off! You touch him and I'll do worse then punch you Zachariah".

He stopped and looked at Cas' furious face, his eyes flashing an ice blue as looked back to Dean.

"He will be your downfall…I didn't get my answer but I'll come back for it, believe me!" he yelled as he pushed past them and walked out.

Castiel turned towards Dean and touched his swollen hand gently. "Why did you do that?"

"He was hurting you with words, you really think I am going to let that dick hurt you like that?".

Castiel swallowed as he took his other hand and took him to the church kitchen for ice, he wrapped it in a tea towel and laid it on gently.

"What we going to do?".

Castiel didn't say anything as he looked down at the floor before looking up his eyes glassy.

"I told you something was coming didn't I? Well this is it, Zachariah won't stop till he is ripped us apart and destroyed everything I hold dear".

"You're not going to let him are you…Cas? "

"Dean…".

Dean shook his head and backed away. "The choice…me or the job? Who would you choose?"

Castiel again didn't answer as he looked at him in despair, Dean gasped slightly and looked away to the side at the wall.

"You would choose the fucking job wouldn't you?"

"Dean, please…"

"Are you insane? You would actually give up everything, me and you for some poxy job you don't even truly like or even wanted to begin with!"

"It's everything I have ever worked for, it's been my whole life, it's got me my job, house, money, respect of my father finally! Dean, listen to me, if I do it does not mean I don't love you because I do, I love you more than anything".

Dean bit his lip hard and scoffed at his words.

"You love the job more than me otherwise you would of said me and not the job…you are a coward, a fucking coward".

Castiel felt tears form in his eyes and he shook his head. "I am doing what's right for us".

"Are you hell? You are doing it for you and you alone Cas, it's all lies, this job, everything!"

"Dean just listen to me…"

"No Cas, no! you listen to me, you choose the job and you lose me…I'm gone".

"What…what do you mean? You're sharing me now with the job!".

"That was before Zack knew and you do realise that it's over for that part of us now, secrets always come out Castiel and he will never let you have both, its one or the other".

Castiel bit down on his lip hard as he fought with his emotions, Dean feeling his heart break at the sight of him. He walked over and brought him close to him as he leaned down and brushed his lips against his.

"You need time to think and I am not putting pressure on you, I am stating the facts, I want all of you and not in secret because I love you far too much now but what is done is done…I'm sorry".

Dean let go of him and walked out feeling like shit as Castiel leaned against the wall and slid down in despair as his whole world just came crumbling apart. One way or the other he knew he was going to lose a very big part of himself, a job he had worked so hard for, that made his father proud and had made his life or he was going to lose the one person he loved more than anything in the world, who shown him so many things he never thought he could get and this was going to be the hardest decision he was going to make.

**Right ladies and gentlemen, going to be a bit of angst for a bit but don't worry, it will all be fine **** please review! Thank you. **


	10. Chapter 10

"You're kidding me right?" Ellen said as she sat with Dean.

"Oh no, perfectly serious, his job over me…but I am not surprised".

Ellen shook her head with a deep sigh. "You two are…I don't even know how to explain it but ever since you have arrived and been with him in every way possible, he's changed, he's different…I don't understand why he would choose that over you".

Dean shrugged as he sipped his drink feeling bitter and slightly angry now, he left him several hours ago and had no word since.

"You should go see him again, get a definite answer or I can go for you".

"No, no I'll go I have a few things to say to him".

Castiel was sat staring into nothing at the back of the church waiting for the return of Zachariah, who would no doubt be back for answers and redemption. The door did open and he sighed as he saw it was Dean; he turned back and looked at the wall.

"Nothing to say?" Dean called. "Let me guess, made your decision already?"

"I'm sorry" he muttered and looked up at him as Dean shook his head and looked at him angrily.

"I mean after everything! Really, what did you say to me the other day?"

"I told you I love you and don't you say I didn't mean it because I did!"

"Oh yeah you love me that much you are leaving me for this shitty job?" he shouted at him.

"Why won't you listen to me?"

Dean stood in front of him. "Oh I am and I do not understand you! Say you chose me okay, what is so scary about that? Okay you would lose your job and shit like that but wouldn't it even be worth it a tiny bit?"

Cas stood up and looked him in the eye.

"Dean I was forced into this job and I hated I had no freedom of choice but I accepted it and it became my life, imagine just for one moment you had something your whole life and then something comes along and snatches it away completely…you have no idea what to do, where to go, what to do with your life because it's always been there…that's how it is for me".

"What, something like a job or maybe a parent for example! Something that was taken away from you so dramatically that as a little boy you had no idea what you were going to do without them but you accepted the change in time and learnt to deal with it!"

"It's not the same…"

"Bullshit! You are so afraid of change aren't you? So frightened that you stick with this job because it makes daddy proud and you feel safe!" he shouted at him, Castiel looking away feeling that anger peak inside him as he clenched his fists.

"I am not afraid! I am being reasonable; I am doing what I must! Do you really think I want to do this!"

"You fucking tell me because I don't understand it!"

Castiel turned away from him as he pushed back his anger and frustration, he had always hated confrontations. The silence stretched between them till it became unbearable.

"What am I meant to do? You choose the job, what about me…what do I do"

"You live your life without me".

Dean nodded and then a thought occurred to him as he turned him back around to face him and stood close so they were inches apart.

"So I go back to how was I before you… I am going to need a brand new relationship then and since I can't have the one person I truly want, I am going to have to find a new woman or…a man".

Castiel swallowed hard at the thought and nodded at him.

"I would expect you to do that".

"Oh, really? Wow, let me go so easily I guess…okay so imagine for one moment will you, I find a new man and I really like him, I let him talk to me and chat me up, I let him touch me, kiss me, wrap his arms around me and claim me, and…".

Castiel was breathing hard now as he backed away shaking his head. "Shut up Dean, just stop it".

"I let him take me and maybe I don't know perhaps I might fall in love with him in time and forget all about you!" Dean shouted as he dragged him back towards him, Castiel glaring at him.

"Shut up!"

"I can see it hurts, it's in your eyes and I can see that anger and jealousy inside you waiting to explode! But that is what will happen Cas, I won't be there forever! Maybe I will find someone who will love me like you do, kiss me like you do, have sex with me and all that drama along with it".

Castiel pushed him away angrily. "Why are you doing this?"

"I am showing you the fucking truth! I will find someone else Cas, it won't be you but who knows, I might find some happiness!"

"Then you know what Dean, go fucking do it!".

Dean's eyes widened surprised as Castiel glared at him before walking away and back to his office slamming the door behind him. Dean shook his head and followed him in as he threw open the door with a bang, Castiel who had tears in his eyes looking at him furiously.

"Problem is, I don't want anyone else! What the hell have you done to me! I have never in all my life fell for someone so hard and so fast, it takes me months and months before I feel what I feel for you, you bastard!"

"What have I done to you? I was fine before I met you! You came into my life out of nowhere, wanted to help out and I was so scared, I mean look at you…you're gorgeous, you are mind blowing and it had to be you didn't it! If you had never come into my life, this would have never happened".

Dean leaned against the door and looked at him as contemplated his words, Castiel rubbing away a tear that fell out.

"If I never came into your life then you would be still trapped in a circle of depression and loneliness that you would never escape and you probably be a complete mess right now and you know what, you are heading back down that bloody path!".

"That is my decision, I will be fine, I have dealt with it all my life!"

"You are a such a bad liar, you are terrified of that happening again…that loneliness in the morning, that empty space in your bed and heart forever, never being filled with a woman because your gay and no man because it's a sin and forbidden for you".

Cas looked away from him as an ache filled him and he pushed away the sadness and accepted the anger instead as he looked up at him.

"I have made my decision because it is the right thing to do! I accept my fate because I deserve it, I was wrong!"

"You regret us?".

His silence confirmed it and Dean pushed himself off the door and narrowed his eyes at him.

"You have got to be kidding me, you…you actually regret it all?"

"I went into this completely blind to my actions, this is fate and karma Dean, and they are catching up on us".

Furious with him he couldn't help himself as he walked up to him and shoved him against the wall angrily.

"You're a liar!"

"Really? I am a liar now, what if you just can't accept the truth about this all!"

Dean was breathing hard as he tightened his hold on him and they stared into each other's eyes, anger matching anger.

"Alright, you regret us but I don't…so let's play on that attraction and feelings shall we, let's see the real you and the truth" he whispered breathing hot air in his ear as he grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him hard enough that it would of bruised if it could.

All anger and emotion flooded into it as Castiel couldn't help but kiss him back just as hard as Dean pushed him on to his desk pushing the papers and other items off as they undressed each other till they were fully naked. .

Dean grabbing the back of his hair and tugging it hard to expose his neck as he bit down and kissed him. Cas gasping loudly and narrowing his eyes at him as teeth and tongue scraped across his skin leaving another bruising mark.

"Bastard" Castiel muttered as Dean looked down at him and tugged his hair again tilting his head back, the pain and pleasure of it making him groan. Dean kissed him again and gasped when Castiel bit down on his bottom lip and tugged at it as he cocked his head and smirked.

Dean pulled him closer to him and prepared him as he slid a finger inside him and watched as Cas bit his lip and closed his eyes.

"Oh no you don't, open your eyes" he muttered as they flashed open again as Dean slid a second widening him enough for entry, the blue flaring in his eyes as he groaned in time.

Dean widened Cas' legs more and slid inside him as Castiel dragged his fingers down his back leaving marks and drawing some blood as he thrusted hard into him and he groaned and looked at him surprised.

"Oh look here he is, little devil when you want to be".

Castiel clutching him hard as anger poured out into Dean's thrusts inside him as he panted with desperation and pent up anger he still felt deep in his core as they were chest to chest and sweat mingled together as one.

Dean moving to his shoulder as Castiel panted in his ear and moved to kiss it gently as he tugged and bit it.

Dean moving as he gripped the back of his hair hard as he looked into his eyes and he moaned as Castiel shifted underneath him and Dean went deeper inside, his feet digging into his back and fingers trailing down his arms.

Dean slamming his hand down on the desk as he continued his pace and felt his muscles and everything contracting and feel like it was on fire with ache as he cummed hard inside him, his climax continuing as he shouted loudly against his throat. Dean reaching down and grabbing Cas' weeping cock and tugging it hard until moments later Castiel climaxed with a yell, cumming into his hand and all over both of them.

The anger slipping slowly away as they held on to each attempting to catch their breath and Dean closing his eyes as he knew deep down that was goodbye, despite it being full of anger, frustration and most of all passion. Castiel trembling slightly as Dean pulled out of him and turned his back as he got dressed; he felt the ache already from Dean's angry and fast thrusts inside him and knew it would take full effect later.

"That's why you're a liar…how long will it take before that desire and that need kicks in again Cas? You know you don't truly regret it or you wouldn't have let me take you on your desk" he muttered as he pulled his t-shirt back on looking at the mess on the floor and back to Castiel who was dressing himself.

"Heat of the moment" he muttered as Dean scoffed amused.

"Yeah, right".

"You want to know what the biggest sin of all is?"

"What?"

"We've just had sex in a church".

Castiel glared at him as Dean smirked amused.

"That's not your biggest mistake though Cas, your biggest is throwing this away before it had a chance to really start, it's killing me right now knowing that after this, when we walk away from each other that I can never kiss you again or do what we've just done over and over again".

Castiel looked away from him as tears filled his eyes. "Stop making this so hard…"

"What do you want me to do? Say okay and just walk away, I'm telling you the truth here Castiel whether you like it or not".

The silence beat between them as Dean took a deep breath and nodded to himself.

"One last thing before I walk away and leave you…do you truly love me?"

Castiel felt his heart shatter as he looked at him through tear filled eyes. "I love you".

Dean smiled sadly to himself as he looked away and he blinked away the tears that he could feel at the back of his eyes.

"That's really shit you know despite it meant to be a supposedly happy feeling…I want you to know I love you too".

Dean closed his eyes with a sigh as he walked over to him and looked down at him as he shook his head sadly.

"I really hope you don't regret this but I have a feeling you might in time, I'll carry on hoping or do as you wish and move on".

Pain shattered through him at Dean's words as he slowly shook his head.

"No, don't move on just yet".

Dean laughed grimly and nodded. "Maybe not so soon, give me time to get over you first".

Castiel felt like protesting then and saying never get over him but he looked down at the floor in silence.

"A shitty job over me, my ego has taken a real knock here" he joked as he stepped away from him and went to walk out, but Castiel grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

"Kiss me once more? Please" he pleaded and Dean bit his lip considering before nodding and leaning towards him as he gently kissed him and let all emotion in to it, as he slid his tongue in and deepened the kiss. Castiel groaning low into his mouth as Dean stroked the side of his face tenderly before parting and leaning his forehead against his.

"Bye Cas" he whispered as his voice broke and he hurried out the room. Castiel letting the tears fall without regret or hesitation as Dean left the church covering his mouth in horror as he went back to Ellen's.

~0~

"Castiel?" Zachariah called and waited until Castiel came into the church looking red eyed and looking at him in contempt.

"You made the right decision I hope?"

"The relationship is over and Dean will not be bothering me again".

Zachariah smiled coldly and clapped his hands together once.

"Fantastic! I am proud of your decision to end this deceit and abomination, but my trust in you has gone so you will be watched Castiel, not by me of course, but my men who will report back to me if they see anything do you understand?"

Castiel nodded slowly as Zach smiled again.

"Excellent! Now no more slip ups and giving into temptation, I suggest you go and read the bible for a good while Castiel, really look into it and pray for forgiveness, do you understand and agree?".

"Yes".

"Good…now I must be getting back…but I warn you now, you so much as spend any time or be with him alone again Castiel, I will fire your ass and report you! Your life will be over" he muttered as Castiel swallowed and nodded watching him leave and slamming the door behind him as he slid down it and inhaled deeply, he could still smell the remains of Dean's aftershave, sex and sweat mixed together on his skin and clothes and he clung on to it.

Zachariah closed the door of the driver's seat and looked towards one of his closest friends and helpers.

"He is still head over in heels in love with that…man! I could see the mark on his neck and rumpled clothes after sex with him…he is pure evil!"

"What do you intend to do with him?"

"It's clear Castiel will have a massive problem controlling himself around him and he will let it happen again, maybe not now but in time when that desire kicks in, Dean is evil, a corrupter and a sinner…he must be stopped".

"How?"

"By what we did last time this happened".

The helper frowned in confusion. "That man died last time".

"But he was cured and so be it, if Dean dies then it is for the greater good, rid the world of the little whore don't you think!"

The helper grinned at him as he started the car and Zachariah smiled coldly as they drove out the village.

**Ah the reviews are so helpful, they give me ideas! **** so please review this, thank you! **


	11. Chapter 11

It had been 4 days since Castiel and Dean separated, since then they avoided each other, Dean staying inside or going to the shop to work, Castiel staying in the church until the late hours before returning home to an empty house. Jess came to visit and Dean decided to tell her what had happened.

Jess looked down sadly as Dean told her what happened and she rested a hand on his arm.

"I'm so sorry".

"It's fine, I guess…it was always going to end in complete disaster wasn't it".

Dean sighed and went upstairs as he went to get a shower and changed to join them downstairs, Sam watching him closely.

"There is something up with him and I know you know what's going on, so spill" he whispered to Jess who rolled her eyes at him.

"If I tell you, you will freak and confront him"

"Now you have to tell me! I promise you I won't, I'll be reasonable".

Dean watched as Jess whispered in his ear and Sam go pale and look at her and then at Dean shocked.

"You have got to be joking! Please tell me you're joking!" he shouted and looked between them.

"You told him!"

"He's your brother; he deserves the right to know!"

"Wait...you told my girlfriend but not your own brother!"

"She found out! She's very clever and I would of told you but…it's difficult, it just happened!"

"You and Castiel…together?"

"Yes, well we were, it's over now though".

Jess raised her eyebrows and looked away and he noticed frowning at her.

"What!"

"Nothing…I just don't think it's over for you two just yet".

"What you a psychic now?"

Jess started to protest when he held up a hand and stopped her as he grabbed his keys and muttered he was going to get a drink. He drove to town and intended to get very drunk as he parked and went to find a bar.

"Whiskey" he said to the barmaid who raised her eyebrows and nodded. The first drink turned too many as he got very drunk.

"Another" he said slamming his hand down.

"No, we're closing, get out".

He glared at her as she looked him up and down. "Whatever!".

He stumbled out of the bar and looked around the deserted street and at his car as he considered driving. He sighed as he fumbled with his keys and knew the walk back was about half an hour away.

When he eventually arrived back he patted his pocket and groaned, he had lost the house keys somewhere and it was now 1am in the morning as he pulled the vodka bottle that he bought out his pocket and stumbled through as he looked around the place and bit his lip in an attempt to keep quiet.

He sat down with a sigh on the side of the road as he swigged it back and closed his eyes letting the numb feeling flow through him.

Castiel was lying in bed wide awake as he lay on Dean's side of it ignoring the lonely feeling that crept up and told him to get used to it, this was forever. He heard a noise outside like a bottle hitting the floor and went to the window to see a figure sitting on the sidewalk, a very familiar figure.

He sighed deeply and pulled on random clothing as he went downstairs and outside to see him.

"Dean, what are you doing?".

A startled Dean spun around and looked up at him confused.

"Cas? What...what are you doing here?"

"You are sat outside my house".

Dean squinted and looked behind him and then groaned. "Oh just brilliant, the one house I sit outside and it's yours! Right I'm going somewhere else then!".

He pushed himself up and stumbled back, Castiel reaching out and grabbing his wrist to steady in.

"How much have you drank?"

"Oh…millions I think? And this!" he said and held up the vodka bottle as Cas looked at it and looked at him in disapproval.

"Why would you do that? Give me it".

"Ha no way" he said and held it away chuckling.

Castiel shaking his head as he pulled him so he stumbled again and snatched it.

"Oi! That's mine!" Dean protested pouting as he reached for it.

"You are very drunk Dean, you've had enough so this is now mine, go home and sober up".

"I can't…keys gone, Sam and Jessica in bed so" he shrugged.

"So what you going to wander around all night?"

"Yep, can't wait so let me go, it's against the rules" Dean said and nodded at Cas' hand still around his wrist.

"What rules?"

"The rules of you and me, this is forbidden now so yeah" he said and pulled back but too hard as he nearly fell over before Cas rushed forward and caught him.

"You are a mess right now; do you really think I am going to let you wander the streets like this?"

"Yes?"

Castiel groaned annoyed and tugged him inside the house and shut the door behind them.

"Living room, you can sleep this off" he ordered.

Dean smirking amused. "Oh we're breaking the rules!"

"We broke them long ago, come on" he muttered as he tugged him and pushed him on the couch, Dean sighing as he let his head hit the pillow and looked up at him.

"Can I have my vodka back now?"

"No way, I am getting you some water…stay there, don't move!"

"Oh orders now" he laughed as he settled down and closed his eyes.

Castiel sighing as his heart beat out a broken beat and he didn't know how much he missed him, he was used to seeing him and being near him every day. He got the water and went back to him as he nudged him awake and handed it to him.

"This is disgusting, what is it?"

"Water".

He grimaced in disgust as he handed it back to him, Cas putting it on the floor and looking back up at him as Dean peered back.

"Why you helping me?"

"Why wouldn't I help you? You are drunk and needed help".

"No, I was fine, I would of slept in the street for a bit…cuddling a vodka bottle for warmth…which is gone, where is my bottle!"

Castiel sighed and put a hand over his mouth to shut him up. "You are annoying drunk Dean".

"Yeah well you still love me" he muttered underneath it as he closed his eyes feeling sleepy.

Cas looked down and removed his hand from his mouth and nodded in agreement. "You aren't going to be sick are you?"

"Mmm, no!"

Dean turned away and sighed as he fell into a quick sleep, Cas watching him for a moment as he stood up and looked at the time, he gave it a few hours before he woke up with a hangover or wanting to be sick. He wouldn't even realise or notice as Cas leaned down and kissed his temple lightly.

"Night Dean".

~0~

Dean woke to bright light as he covered his face and groaned loudly. Castiel looking over to him amused as he put a cup of coffee next to him.

"Cas?"

"Do you not remember?"

Dean froze for a moment as he thought back and nodded, then regretted the action as he turned away.

"I feel like I'm dying, what the hell did I drink?"

"Vodka and whiskey from what I could smell".

"Oh I don't care, don't talk, don't even breathe, it hurts too much" he mumbled and turned away and buried his face in the couch.

"It's your own fault" Castiel muttered and turned to look at him again as Dean looked over to him annoyed.

"Shut up now and be useful by getting me a lot of headache tablets".

Castiel returned and chucked them over to him as he sat up groaning and squinted at him.

"Cas, if you love me, will you shut them" he muttered nodding at the curtains.

He frowned annoyed at the words as he shut them anyway.

"I am going to be out all day; I want you gone when I return".

Dean looked up at him and Castiel seen the flash of pain at his words as he nodded and then looked away as he took the tablets.

"Well?" Dean said as Castiel nodded and walked out as he headed to the church.

Dean curling up in a ball as his stomach churned and he went to sleep, to sleep off the hangover. Castiel was near the church when he seen Jess run towards him.

"Please tell me you've seen Dean!"

"Yes, he is at mine with a nasty hangover".

She sighed and brought out her phone as she called Sam.

"Yes, found him well no, not really…he is at Castiel's…Sam! Stop it now…well maybe it was his decision…where are you now? Okay I'm coming to get you" she said and hung up the phone.

"Thanks Cas" she smiled and hurried off. He watched after her and felt guilty as he prayed he wasn't being watched right now.

It hit 4pm when Castiel decided to go home and close up after a long day.

"Afternoon father!" a woman called over as he smiled at her.

He walked in and shook his head as he seen Dean still asleep on the couch. He grabbed hold of the door and slammed it, watching him as he woke up and fell off the couch. Cas biting back his laughter as he looked at him.

"You are still here I see".

"Every time I moved I felt like I was going to throw up, so excuse me from wanting to prevent that and wanting to sleep it off!"

Dean got up and took a deep breath as he steadied himself and walked out of the room brushing past him.

"Thanks for last night, you didn't have to",

"Yes I did".

Dean swallowed and looked at the front door. "Well…thanks anyway".

He glanced back at him as he left the house, Castiel moaning a little in pain as the ache reappeared at him leaving as he sat on the stairs, the emptiness greeting him. He got up and walked into the living room and looked around as he went to the couch and sat down, it was still warm and he could still smell him.

"Am I doing the right thing?"

Dean was walking through the village and breathing in the fresh air gladly as he looked up at the setting sun he had missed all day sadly as he looked forward to food and a shower. He heard a car behind him as he moved to the side and carried on, but then stopped confused as he looked back to it.

It looked like it was following him but maybe he was being crazy he thought as he carried on walking. He heard car doors open and two men in suits step out.

"Dean Winchester?"

"Yeah? Do I know you?"

They approached him with smiles as one addressed him. "No, but we need you I'm afraid".

"What…" he started and was cut off as the man pulled out a syringe and plunged into his neck, clear liquid being injected into him.

His gasp was silent as he looked at it in shock and slumped forward as they caught him and dragged him to the car and put him in the back looking around for witnesses. They got into the front as they looked back at the now unconscious Dean.

"Call him!" he hissed to the other man as he pulled out his phone.

"It's me…yeah we have him, no harm? Okay".

"No harm and the old place again, this one is going to regret ever crossing Zachariah".

They drove out the village, Dean unconscious and Castiel completely unaware to what was about to happen to Dean.

**pretty please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

Dean blinked awake as he looked up at the rope binding his hands together above his head and looked around the room he was in, an old storage room full of boxes that smelt like old books. Dean had a feeling he was in another church and looked at the chair in front of him confused as he tugged on the rope.

"Oh I wouldn't do that" he heard a male voice say as he walked in and smiled at him.

"You! What the fuck are you doing? Let me go!" Dean yelled at Zachariah furious.

"Let me think, no!" he said and grabbed hold of his face in a tight grip. "You are a disgrace to humanity, look at what you do! But because I am a servant of the lord I am going to cure you".

"Cure me? Cure me for what, being gay?"

"Exactly".

Zachariah let go of him and punched him hard in the face, Dean groaning in pain as he spat blood out and looked at him.

"You think that hurts now…that's nothing!" he said as he punched him again in the stomach, Dean hissing out as he bent his head fighting for breath.

"You can't fucking cure me you mad bastard, it can't be cured…you watch too much soap".

Zach yanked his hair back and twisted his ear hard causing him to cry out in pain.

"I can try my best, now be very quiet or I'll do it myself" he hissed and left him to it as Dean breathed through the pain and spat out another mouthful of blood.

There were sharp raps on his front door as Castiel opened it to see Sam and Jess.

"Is Dean here?" Sam asked.

"No, why…what's up?".

"Since I saw you before and you confirmed he was here, well we haven't seen or heard him, he isn't picking up his phone either" Jess said as Sam looked around the house just in case.

Castiel felt a wave of sudden guilt at the way Dean left before, he didn't look too good.

"Maybe he's gone out again?"

"Yeah he's been drinking a lot lately, I wonder why" Sam muttered bitterly as he walked out, Castiel looking to the side as he knew that was aimed at him.

Jess shook her head annoyed at him as she gave him a sympathetic smile.

"You're probably right but give us a ring if you hear from him".

"Of course".

He shut the door behind her as he pulled his phone out and called him, reaching his voicemail as he sighed in disappointment.

"Dean, when you get this, call me or Sam and Jess, they are worried".

He hung up and tapped his phone against his hand as he wondered where he could possibly be.

~0~

"How could you do that to him, I mean you knew he was a priest…that he was off limits?" Zach said as he hit him across the face.

Dean gasped in pain at the bruise already forming around his eye, the ache that covered his face and stomach from multiple blows to the area.

"I fell for him, I couldn't help it! But it was me just as much as him!" he hissed as Zachariah backhanded him in response.

"Just another little whore, corrupting innocent men".

"No!"

"You make me sick, physically sick! Give me one good reason I shouldn't kill you right here and now to rid the world of you, no would miss you!"

"Oh fucking try it Zach, let's see how far you would get!" Dean yelled spitting blood at him.

"Oh no, no it would not be me; I never get my hands dirty! But I can see you are a lost cause, do you not regret your actions for even one second".

Dean smirked and shook his head. "No, because I fell in love with him, I took him and made him mine and I would do it all over again!"

Zachariah looked at him in disgust as he signalled to his men.

"Well I have the last revenge, the last laughs as they call it…you are just going to disappear Dean Winchester, body found in a dump maybe from a mugging? Mmm sounds good!" he laughed as he gripped his face tightly. "Did you say goodbye to him? I hope you did".

Dean swallowed in fear as 3 men came in, 2 ready for business but the other, who was blonde and looked wary, looking at him in confusion.

"You know what to do" Zachariah said as he looked him up and down and left the room.

Dean glared at them as they came over cutting the rope and tied his hands behind his back dragging him into another empty room and throwing him into the floor.

"Going to kill me are you lads?" Dean said as he turned around on his knees to look at them in turn.

"Orders are orders",

"You servants as well? You know, follow the lord and that like Zach does?"

"Yes".

Dean scoffed in shock as he looked at the blonde one especially. "You really think this is what he wants, me dead?"

"He hates you for what you are".

"Homophobia will get you nowhere and not with me, I couldn't care less what you think you stupid dick!"

The guy pulled something silver out of his pocket and approached him with the knife.

"Whoa, seriously we're going to do this" the blonde said running forward with his arms out in horror as he looked at it.

"Get out of the way! Orders are orders you little idiot!"

Dean looked at the exchange in surprise and gratitude for the blonde who all of the sudden was defending him.

"I didn't sign up for this…for murder! You can't murder a man in cold blood" he shouted.

"Shut up! Shut up now!" he hissed back.

Dean using the strength in his legs stood up as he faltered and looked at him. The blonde suddenly snatching the knife and cutting the rope free from his hands as they looked at each other. Dean nodding at him in thanks as they looked at the other two.

"Gregory, hold him" he said to the other man as he grabbed the blonde.

"No, move!" he shouted as Dean backed away from him.

The man picked up the knife again and grinned coldly. "Sorry about this, but one last job and we're done".

Dean gritted his teeth as he swung for him and punched him hard as he reeled back and stared at him hard as he continued to back Dean up. Dean looking around for an exit but was cornered as he lashed out again and kicked him hard in the stomach, the man collapses to the floor winded and hitting his head knocking himself out.

"Pathetic excuse for a man" Dean muttered at him as he stepped around him laughing half-heartedly.

"Dean!" the blonde called as Dean turned and felt a sharp pain to his side as Gregory stabbed him.

The shock of it took his breath away as he looked down at the knife, the blonde grabbing a wooden pole and whacking Gregory hard around the head. He fell to the floor in a heap at Dean's feet as Dean gasped in pain.

"Oh shit!" he breathed and looked at him in horror. "Oh shit, what do I do!"

Dean pulled the knife out and gasped in pain as he took his jacket off and used it as bandage to stop the blood flow.

"I need my phone, you need to get that and get me out of here" he hissed breathing hard.

He nodded and swallowed as he grabbed Dean's arm and wrapped it around his shoulder taking him out of the room. They looked down the empty corridor as they walked down it and heard voices, the blonde looking for a room as he opened a door and found a store cupboard.

Dragging him in, he placed him down quietly and saw towels as he threw them towards him.

"For the blood" he whispered as he closed it quietly.

"My phone…where-where is it?"

"Zach's office is my best guess, but he'll be in there now".

Dean pressed the towels to his wound and looked at the blood on his hands as he grimaced in pain. The blonde crawled towards him and carefully lifted the towels up to see the wound and gasped a little.

"Bad?" Dean muttered as he nodded slowly.

"I'm not dying in this fucking place…who are you and why are you helping me?"

"I'm Luke, I'm brand new to this and Zachariah hired me two weeks ago…I did not sign up for this".

"Well thanks Luke, but I really need my phone…I need to call my brother or even Castiel".

Luke nodded and took a deep breath as he stood up and looked down at him.

"You have to be quiet though, if they discover you, you're gone".

Dean gave him an exasperated look as Luke nodded and exited it quick as Dean held the towel that were soaked in his blood as he breathed slow through his mouth thinking of Sam and Cas and knowing he couldn't die on them, not just yet.

"Where the hell is he?" Sam said as he paced up and down.

Jess attempting to calm him but failing.

"He said nothing to you?" he shouted at Castiel who shook his head as they sat in the living room together wondering and calling people to see if they knew.

"He just left, he looked rough and ready for home…I don't know where he would go!".

Sam sat back biting his thumb nervous as to where he could be.

A knock on the window scared them all as they spun around and seen a young looking woman gesturing them.

"Hi, erm I don't know how to say this but your brother, the good looking one with brown hair right?"

"Yes! You seen him?"

"No but my mother did, she's quite old and she was distressed before, I have only just managed to get a straight answer out of her…she said she saw your brother with two men in suits, one of the men pulled something out of his pocket and apparently stabbed him with it and he fell unconscious, my mum said they dragged him in the car and took him away".

They stared at her in horror as Jess looked to Castiel.

"Zachariah" he whispered as Sam looked back to him.

"Why would he do that and take him?"

"Revenge, to get back at him and me for what we did…he'll blame him the most"

"Where will he have taken him!"

"I don't know, I don't! He's a big name; he could have taken him anywhere".

Sam thanked her and closed the door as he ran a hand through his hair thinking hard.

"The police, we need the police!"

Jess nodded looking frightened as she went to find the phone, Castiel watching her feeling like he was going to be sick, if he was hurt it was going to be his entire fault.

~0~

Luke peeked in his office and was thankful it was empty as he moved in quickly and looked through the drawers and found it in the bottom as he pocked it and stood up quickly when he heard Zachariah's voice.

"Yes, unfortunate for some I know…what are you doing here?" he said as he noticed him and blinked surprised to his appearance.

Luke swallowed and let out a deep breath. "You…is everything alright?"

Zach looked at him confused for a long moment. "I'm fine? Is everything taken care of?"

"Yes! All done".

"Good, good…now get back to them yes?"

Luke nodded and quickly scurried out as he headed back to the store room, Zachariah standing there alarmed for a moment before continuing to talk on the phone. Luke pulled it out and turned it on as he looked side to side before opening the door and kneeling by his side.

"Oh you wonderful man!" Dean gasped as he saw it, Luke handing it to him as he pressed speed dial.

Castiel was sitting on his own when he felt his phone buzz, he pulled out and gasped.

"It's Dean!"

He answered it feeling panicked as Sam and Jess rushed towards him.

"Cas" he gasped out.

"Dean! Oh thank god, where are you? Are you okay?"

Dean closed his eyes at the sound of his voice and then he realised he didn't actually know.

"Luke where are we?"

"St Joseph's Church".

"St Joseph's Church! Cas, do us a favour and bring the police and an ambulance as well".

"An ambulance? Why, Dean why do we need one of them?"

Sam looked at Jess in alarm as he gestured at the phone, Castiel holding his hands up.

"Why Dean?"

He looked down at his blood stained clothes and couldn't find the words. Luke snatched the phone off him much to his protest.

"Hi, you don't know me, I'm helping him out…I don't do murder…anyway listen he's been stabbed and its bad".

Castiel's breath faltered in his mouth as he looked at Sam swallowing hard as he fought back the despair.

"Dean's been stabbed".

Sam's face whitening as he backed away slightly, Jess reaching out and holding him close.

"Put him back on" Castiel whispered as Luke gave him the phone back, Dean frowning at him annoyed.

"How bad Dean?"

"I've lost quite a bit of blood, but I am holding on okay I am not going anywhere, get Sam to call them now!"

"Sam call them for St Joseph's now!"

Jess handing him the phone as Sam dialled them with shaking hands.

"I am so sorry Dean"

"Why are you apologising?"

"Because it's my fault this is happening to you, Zachariah doing this is because of me".

"I gave him what for and he'll get what's coming to him so I don't blame you, I blame that mad bastard for my current state…I don't blame you Cas okay understand that".

Castiel blinked back the tears as Sam yelled at the police and told them to send everyone and anyone right now.

"Sam is hilarious angry" Dean gasped as Luke removed the towels and replaced them with new ones.

"This isn't time for joking Dean…"

"It's perfect time! I mean if I am not laughing, I will be crying".

Dean could feel himself slipping into the darkness as Luke reached out and touched his shoulder shaking him.

"Dean, Dean!" he took the phone off him. "He's losing conscious…"

"Keep him awake!" Castiel cried as Sam and Jess looked towards him.

"Come on!" he said and slapped him across the face to wake him up. Dean jerked as he blinked and grabbed the phone again.

"Let me sleep you"

"No, no you are not allowed okay, you have to talk to me Dean, and if you fall asleep you will go to a place where I can't follow".

Dean laughed for a moment amused. "I love you, I really do and tell Sam as well okay and Jess that I love them because fuck it, I'll regret it later".

"Dean don't start saying that please, please don't" he pleaded.

Dean was now a very pale colour as Luke bit his lip as Dean struggled to keep his eyes open.

"I can hear them…the police" Luke breathed. "I can hear them!"

"Dean, Dean!" Castiel called but got no response as Dean slipped under.

Luke grabbed the phone and stared at Dean as he attempted to wake him up.

"I'm sorry" he breathed down it.

Castiel handed the phone to Sam who began shouting down it as he backed against the stairs and Jess knelt next him.

"Is he?"

"I don't know…Oh my god" he whispered as he covered his mouth and broke down in horror.

"We need to get St Joseph's now!" Sam shouted to them.

Castiel felt a tear slide down and swallowed hard as he thought of his last words, was there still hope?

**Pretty please review! **** thank you!**


	13. Chapter 13

It was a race against time as Sam drove them there, Jess comforting him as he frantically drove and Castiel not saying a word as he knew deep down, he was already dead or dying.

Sam gasped lightly as they turned a corner and came to St Joseph's and saw flashing lights from the police cars. They parked and darted out, but Castiel stopping them before they could reach them.

"They are never going to let us in! We have to go through the back, I know a way…I've been to this church before" he hissed.

"Jess, talk to him and distract him, try and get the info" Sam said as she nodded fluffing her curls and walking over to him.

Cas tugged on his sleeve as they darted through the people surrounding the area and the police to around the back. Castiel tugged on the handle as Sam kept an eye out.

"It's locked!"

"Ah fuck it, move!" Sam said as he kicked the door in and it broke off its hinges.

"Subtle" Castiel muttered as he was shoved in.

They walked down the dark corridor and came to another door as they opened it and saw no one in sight; they walked down and stopped when they could hear cries of help. They rushed towards the next door and flung it open to a corridor.

"You two! Are you police?" the man said desperately.

"Hold on, I recognise your voice, you're Luke!"

"Yes! Yes, he's in here!" Luke cried as they rushed forward and looked in, Dean still on the floor out cold.

"Holy shit" Sam breathed as he knelt next to him and looked down at the sight of him covered in blood.

"I bandaged up the wound best I could, look I'll be right back!" he shouted as he ran out to get help.

Castiel knelt next to him and touched his hand. "He's cold".

Sam looked tearful as he tugged off his jacket and wrapped it around Dean for warmth.

"He can't die, he can't! He is the only family I have left!"

Cas covered Dean's mouth and held still as he waited, he gasped in relief when he felt little gentle puffs of air on his hand.

"He lives! He is still breathing".

They sat with him and heard a run of feet and paramedics come into the room. "Out of the way please!"

Castiel grabbed Sam and tugged him back as they knelt down and helped him. Castiel turned to Luke who was shaking as he looked at his blood stained hands.

"What happened Luke?"

"They wanted us to kill him, me and two other men took him to a room but it was wrong, so wrong so I said no and I untied him…but another man Greg got hold of me and James approached him and went to stab but Dean hit him hard and he fell back knocking himself out" Luke said as he looked around looking terrified.

"Greg had a hidden knife, he took it out and when Dean's back was turned he ran for him and stabbed him, I couldn't stop it! He was determined though that he needed to call you or his brother".

Castiel looked at him in horror as he looked back to the paramedics who had him on a board and covered up as they prepared to take him out.

"Is he still alive, is he okay!" Sam called to them.

"He's fighting but we need to get him to hospital now!"

Sam and Castiel followed them out as they walked and Jess ran up to them as she looked at Dean shocked.

"Oh my god! Is he okay!"

Sam shrugged looking scared as Jess hugged him tight. "He'll be fine okay, don't start panicking".

She kissed him gently and then looked to Castiel.

"I have news; I managed to get it out of him…Zach's disappeared".

"What?" Cas said alarmed as she nodded.

"When he heard the sirens apparently he fled the scene, just disappeared…there looking for him but, well you know the police".

Sam glared over at them angrily. "Well they better find him or I will, come on we better go and follow the ambulance".

They waited until the ambulance started and followed after as they watched Dean get rushed inside the place.

"Come on, we have to be there for him now…Sam come on" Castiel said as Jess tugged on him and they rushed up to the reception.

"My brother has just been brought in, where he is?"

"Who may that be?"

"Dean Winchester, stab wound".

She typed on her computer and filled in details Sam gave to her.

"Theatre at the moment for internal injuries…Doctor Harrison!" she said and then called over a doctor.

"The young man with the near fatal stab wound? Yes, follow me".

They followed him to a waiting room where he sat them down and turned to them holding documents as he flicked through them.

"Dean Winchester isn't it? The young man who was stabbed?"

"Yes, yes it is" Sam said.

"He's seriously injured and has been taken to theatre to repair and mend his wound but he has lost of lot blood and we are keeping him alive but he has a rare blood type and we have some but not enough for him, do you know yours by any chance?"

"I'm B-" Jess said suddenly. "I got my blood tested a few months ago".

"I don't know" Cas said and Sam agreed with him.

"Well I am afraid you cannot help madam, but I was wondering if I could test you two, it would only take 10 minutes".

They nodded as the doctor took them and sampled there blood.

"I'll return in a while".

Sam had his head in his hands as he took deep calming breaths, Castiel going out and getting a coffee from the machine. He leaned against the machine and fought back the nausea he could feel at the back of his stomach, Dean was fighting for his life and Zachariah had escaped and would be preparing for his revenge at this very moment.

If he died he would never forgive himself, to know that if he died because of him was too much to handle and stomach.

He took the coffee back and sat down on his own as they waited for the doctor to come back.

He returned half an hour later with news.

"Dean is still in surgery by the way before you ask and we have the test results back and it's good news, we have a match for one of you" he smiled and looked towards Castiel.

"Me?"

"What?" Sam said stunned.

"Yes, I was expecting it to be you because you are brothers but your blood isn't compatible with Dean's, it's…odd but yes, it's very strange but you have the exact same blood type" the doctor said and turned to a stunned Castiel.

"You need my blood?"

"Yes…but we can't force you it's…" he started but Cas interrupted him.

"Yes, what ever you need I'll do it" Castiel insisted as the doctor nodded in surprise.

"Well he should be out soon, when this happens we'll connect you to him and give him some of your blood; enough to kick start his progress".

Sam blinked at them both as he turned to Jess who shrugged at him.

"That's so bizarre; of all the people in the world with his blood type that is so rare…you have it?"

Castiel nodded in agreement, as Jess smiled to herself.

"What is it?"

"It's like you are meant to be, you're saving him Castiel, you're saving his life".

He smiled sadly at her words as he looked down and prepared himself for the blood transfer that would happen later.

An hour passed when the doctor returned.

"He is out and he is stable for now, we managed to stop his internal bleeding and stitch him up but we won't know any further till he wakes up…it's going to be a critical 24 hours".

Sam swallowed deeply and clutched Jess' hand tightly.

"Can we see him?"

"Of course, follow me".

They walked into his private room to see Dean covered in wires, a breathing tube in his mouth and motionless as he breathed in and out. The doctor gestured to him as Castiel sat down staring at his pale face as the doctor rubbed cream in the crease of his arm and found a vein.

He slid the needle in and Castiel watched as the blood trickled out of his arm through the tube and towards a bag which connected to Dean which had the hospitals as well as his.

"You are saving him" the doctor smiled as he patted his shoulder and went to check the records and his vitals.

Sam handed him a cup of water as he gratefully drank it feeling a little sick, he stroked Dean's hand gently and willed him to wake up.

"Wake up Dean, let us see you're okay for ourselves".

Sometime later the doctor returned to remove the needle so they wouldn't drain him dry as he checked the bag and Dean looking satisfied as some of the colour had returned to his face and hands.

"He's doing well".

"Will I have to do that again?"

"Maybe, let's see how he is in a few hours, there is enough blood for now" the doctor said as he looked over to a sleeping Sam curled up next to Jess.

Castiel returned to him and stroked his hair away. "Come on you, I know you love your sleep but this is ridiculous".

Dean remained motionless as he sat down with a sigh knowing he would be fine but needed that confirmation himself or it didn't seem real.

~0~

Dean felt groggy and very lightheaded as could hear a constant beeping and the whir of his own breath in his ears. He moaned and opened his eyes as he looked at a sleeping Castiel.

He turned his head and saw Sam and Jess, both asleep on the other side as he realised it was dark outside.

He rolled his eyes at them all as he shifted and hissed in agony at the pain at his side.

"Fucking knife" he muttered.

The movement and his voice stirred Castiel as he blinked and looked at him bleary eyed. "Dean?"

"Hey Cas".

He gasped in relief leaning over and kissing him hard, Dean taken back as he kissed him back. "You took your time".

"Why? Oh god, I've not been out for months have I?"

"No, a good few hours…Sam!" he hissed and watched as he jumped awake, startling Jess who yelped in surprise.

"What? What's going on?"

"Oh yeah, I see that as I lie dying you are vigil at all times at my bedside are you! Nice nap Sammy?" Dean said shaking his head as Sam grinned at him.

"Oh it's good to see you awake…you do realise it's actually been days since I last spoke to you properly! You stupid jerk!"

Dean acted offended as Jess smirked at the banter between them.

"Okay, okay…I am sorry for all that but is it my fault I was kidnapped, tortured and then stabbed? Erm no!"

Castiel looked away at that as Dean noticed and looked at him. "Don't start blaming yourself; I remember what I said to you Cas so stop it now".

Cas rolled his eyes as he sat back down, Dean noticing the wire connecting them.

"What the hell is that?"

"I'm giving you my blood, nearly done now…we have the same blood type".

Dean looked at him alarmed and towards Sam who nodded at him. "He's been saving your ass, be grateful".

"That's weird shit…"

Dean felt a wave of sudden tiredness as he closed his eyes again. "Want sleep so you can all bugger off and stop watching me".

Sam chuckled as he looked at Jess who was sitting half asleep. "Right we'll head back and see you in the morning".

Dean waved a hand at him as Sam squeezed his shoulder in response as he held Jess up and walked out.

"Want me to call the doctor and disconnect us so I can leave you?" Castiel whispered.

Dean opened one eye and shook his head.

"No, I only wanted them to go because I know Sam can't sleep properly sitting up, he hates hospitals and Jess looked dead…you don't so stay with me, please?"

"Kindness of your heart?"

"Yeah, he will be a nark in the morning if I said stay, no one needs that" he muttered amused as he closed his eye again.

Castiel pulled the needle out with a hiss and let it drop as he checked the time and felt lightheaded as he leant back in the chair.

"Cas?" he said and held his hand out his eyes still closed.

Castiel smiled and knew the signal as he entwined their hands together as Dean sighed relaxing and falling back asleep. He held his hand as he settled back for sleep himself and fell into it surprisingly quickly but at the back of his mind, he was very scared for both of them.

Dean was going to live but that was a very close call for him and all of them, he knew Zachariah would be furious for being caught out and having the police on his tail, he would be out for serious revenge. Castiel knew he had to protect him and himself no matter what, sod the consequences; he would protect him no matter what.

**Review please! Thank you!**


	14. Chapter 14

"You are making fantastic progress Mr Winchester!" the doctor said as he looked at his stiches and made notes on his clipboard.

"It's been 3 days, let me go or I am running away!" Dean said angrily as Castiel shook his head at him annoyed.

"Let me see okay, let me check with the consultant" he sighed as he walked out and Dean punched the air triumphant.

Cas sat at the edge of his head disapproving.

"Oh don't give me the eyes; you know I can't resist them!" Dean said covering his eyes and looking away from him.

"Then stay in hospital, just for a while longer!" he pleaded reaching over and grabbing his hands and prying them away.

"No, no, no, no" Dean repeated as he shook his head determined. Castiel looked at him as Dean bit his lip feeling awful.

"I hate you" he muttered as Cas smirked and kissed his forehead.

"Of course you do".

"I'm so bored in here though, the nurses aren't even hot! I can be at home and rest there".

Castiel raised his eyebrows at the nurses bit as Dean smirked at him amused.

"What? Am I not allowed to look?"

"Not in my presence".

"Oh so controlling! I think I quite like it" Dean joked as Castiel leaned towards him and kissed him possessively.

"Okay, quit it now" Sam said as he walked in and looked at them both with a shake of his head.

"Cas is all jealous because I've been checking out the nurses".

"I am not!"

Dean nodded at Sam who grimaced a little as Jess walked in holding bags of shopping. "Magazines and a few bits and bobs for the invalid in bed".

He grabbed it eagerly and gasped as he seen a hidden burger in there and looked up grinning. "You fantastic woman!"

Castiel left them to go the toilet as Jess sat next to him.

"What's going on with you two, I mean about a week ago now you broke up completely and now you two are back on?"

"You're complaining?"

"No! No, just confused".

"I guess this whole Zachariah thing has sort of brought us back together? I mean he kissed me when I woke up and we haven't really talked about it yet, I am enjoying it while it lasts".

"I knew the break up wouldn't last, you would always find yourselves coming back to each other, I mean you share the same blood type for goodness sake! Jess said and Dean scoffed amused as Sam sat down next to him.

"You are coming home soon? The house is far too quiet".

"Aww is that your little way of telling me you miss me?"

"Shut up" Sam said as Dean grinned at him.

"Hopefully today! If Cas lets me, he is being a pain about it".

"Sorry for caring about you" he said as he walked back in and Dean looked away looking sheepish and embarrassed.

"Yeah, well care for me at home".

Castiel went to protest when the doctor came back in and smiled at them all.

"He said yes, you are free to go!"

"Finally!"

"But! You need plenty of bed rest, this is not some minor cut now, it is a serious injury and will take time to fully heal".

Castiel turned to him and smiled smugly as Dean glared at the doctor.

"I will be in shortly to discharge you".

Sam patted the bed happily and looked towards Jess. "Get the rest of the shopping now and come back for these two?"

She nodded at him as Dean raised his eyebrows at the exchange.

"You're like a married couple! When was the wedding and why wasn't I invited?"

"Shut up Dean" they said at the same time as he burst out laughing at them.

They left them to it as Dean patted the bed at Castiel. "Lie down with me".

He rolled his eyes as Dean shifted over and he laid with him, Dean wrapping his arms around him as he nuzzled the side of his neck.

"I thought you were dead" Cas said after a long moment of silence.

"So did I…it's not a pleasant feeling at all but you know what… it's like falling asleep really quickly but at the back of your mind knowing you are never going to wake up and that is the most terrifying feeling in the whole world" he muttered as Castiel turned to look at him shocked.

"So you actually died?"

Dean shrugged as he leaned back on the pillows in deep thought. "It was strange, I was in darkness for what felt like years, it was like cold but hot at the same time but I could hear something in the darkness…"

Castiel looked at him alarmed as he reached over and tilted his face to look at him.

"That's gone now, you're alive and you don't have to think about that for a very long time".

"How do you know that? I could die tomorrow".

Castiel turned away at the talk of that and refused to look at him. Dean growing annoyed tugged on his hair and tilted his head back.

"Stop ignoring me, I was being logical you never know what's going to happen because the future isn't set in stone, it's our actions that set the future".

"Are your actions going to cause your death tomorrow?"

Dean placed a gentle kiss under his ear and shook his head. "Not unless we get hit by a truck or I die from staying in bed all day".

"Well I'll make sure neither of them happen today or tomorrow or even after that".

"So much for our break up?"

Cas shrugged and looked at him. "Let's just carry on like nothing happened with Zachariah".

"What about everyone else? Are we still keeping it a secret from them?"

He froze for a moment as he considered that, he needed Dean in his life now more than ever but to have the whole village know and the whispers and the looks, he shouldn't care but he secretly did.

"Don't answer, we are, I can tell from that look on your face".

"Does that bother you?"

He smiled slightly and shook his head. "I'd rather keep it a secret then have everyone know, I mean the right people know anyway, Sam, Jess, and Ellen…oh shit! Jo doesn't know".

"Does she have to know?"

"Yes!"

He rolled his eyes in response and shivered slightly as Dean drew circles on the back of his neck as they sat in silence.

The last few days of exhaustion caught with him as fell asleep against him, Dean watching him amused as he held him close and looked away as he waited for the doctor and Sam to come back.

~0~

"Home sweet home!" Dean cried as he gingerly got out and looked up at the house, Castiel watching him warily as he clutched his wound.

"Yeah, get in and go to bed Dean".

"I'm not a child Sammy, anyway I don't want to".

Cas glared at him as he stepped in front of him and stared at him.

"The doctor doesn't know what's he's talking about, I'm fine!".

"Oh really? So why does it look like you are a minute from collapsing?"

"Because it hurts!" he said irritated as he gently moved him out of the way and walked up to the house.

"He'll be fine" Jess said as she locked the car and he followed her in.

Dean was sat at the table as he flicked through the paper for any news.

"No mention at all? I'm offended!"

"I think there was some mention of a stabbing but nothing extreme, you're famous around here though! The amount of whispering and gossip going on is unbelievable!" Jess said as she unpacked the shopping and Dean beamed in response.

"Ha, let them talk".

He looked over and saw a moody Cas looking out the window in the living room to the street outside ignoring all of them. He gritted his teeth as he got up and went over to him putting his chin on shoulder.

"What's up?"

"Nothing".

"Liar, come on tell me what's up?"

"Tired that's all, I would think you would be also".

Dean fought back a smile as he gently moved him away from the window and wrapped his arms around him.

"You're upset because I'm not following the doctors order aren't you?"

"No".

"How can I convince you that I'm fine! I'll rest tonight okay? This is the first time I have been up in four days!"

"Okay, but if you injure yourself I will drag you there and keep you in bed".

Dean gave him a look as Cas shook his head at him. "Not like that Dean".

He pulled him closer and leaned his forehead against his as he smirked slightly at the thought in his mind.

"Oh I don't know, some exercise could do me some good"

"Dean".

"I'm joking, but I haven't thanked you yet for technically saving my life" he whispered as he leaned down and kissed him firmly, fisting a hand in his shirt as he pulled him even closer and deepened it.

"Dean…we have company" he breathed against his lips as they broke it breathing hard and looking over at Sam and Jess in deep discussion in the kitchen.

He groaned low and closed his eyes, the sound shooting sparks of desire inside Castiel.

"Just give it time, let yourself heal and then you can thank me properly".

"Such a tease" he murmured as Castiel slid a hand down his chest and smiled up at him.

"Fine but I can still do this" he said as he looked back at them in the kitchen before backing him into the corner out of sight. He hit it with a thud and shook his head at Dean as he gave him lustful eyes.

"Oh don't do this…"

Dean ignored him as he kissed under his jaw, his hand sliding down to his groin and teased him.

"Oh…shit" Cas whispered as Dean undid his button and slid his hand in stroking him until he was hard. He looked behind him keeping an eye out as he hand went up and down his shaft, Castiel biting his lip hard as he fought back his moans.

"You close?" he breathed in his ear as Castiel nodded frantically and turned towards his neck as he gasped into it and cummed hard into his hand.

He was weak with pleasure and relief as he looked at him in shock at what they had just done.

"That was just the start of my thank you" he whispered as he kissed him again. He stepped back and grabbed a tea towel of the radiator that was drying and wiped his hand.

"My parents are going on a bloody cruise" Jess suddenly said as she walked in and looked at them confused.

"Everything okay?"

Dean laughed for a moment and nodded as Castiel nodded also as he pushed himself back up looking at him.

"Sandwich in there for both of you" she smiled as Dean looked back at Castiel and winked as he went into the kitchen.

That night, Castiel stayed with Dean in the bed with him at his house for the first time and was content as slept but a phone call woke him up as he reached over and answered his ringing mobile phone.

"Hello?"

"Castiel Novak?"

"Yes?"

"We might have someone here who knows you; he's being a little…troublesome and insisted I call you"

Castiel blinked surprised as he wondered who it could possibly be.

"Who is it?"

"Won't tell us, said call you and that's it, so if you could come down to station now, Cooperstown police department please".

"Yeah, sure" Cas muttered as he hung up, Dean who had woken up looked at the phone.

"Who was that?"

"The police…someone is there and knows me, I have to go down".

Castiel blinked the sleep out of his eyes as he looked at the clock, 2.34am and groaned. "Whoever it is, I am going to kill them".

"Let me come with you" he muttered as Castiel shook his head.

"You need rest".

"My car, what you going to do? Ring a taxi?"

Cas sighed as he realised he would need the car and looked down at him as he pulled his jacket on. "Fine, come on then and be careful! No ripping stiches out".

Dean muttered to himself under his breath as he quickly changed and looked at him as he stood up.

"You are so protective! Seriously, I'm fine now".

"I will always be protective, he is still out there Dean….I won't let him hurt you again".

Dean reached out and stroked his cheek softly. "I know…come on".

Grabbing the keys, they walked down stairs careful not to wake a sleeping Sam and Jess as they got in and drove to Cooperstown police station.

"Hello I received a call about 20 minutes ago, my name is Castiel".

"Ah yes, wait one moment" the woman said as they sat down and waited.

"Who do you think it is?" Dean whispered as Cas shrugged and wondered himself.

An oldish man walked out and looked at them in turn. "Which one of you is Castiel?"

"Me" he said and followed him as he gestured at him, Dean following after and the policeman pointing into a room.

Castiel stared in shock at the figure sitting stubborn on the table.

"Who is he Cas?"

"Gabriel".

**Pretty please review! **** thank you! **


	15. Chapter 15

"What's he done?" Castiel demanded as he spun at the policeman.

"Assault and drunken disorderly, thankfully for him the man he hit doesn't want to press charges".

Castiel walked up to the window and glared at his long lost brother who sat up straight when he noticed him and smirked. He sighed and turned away closing his eyes.

"Gabriel? The one who went missing years ago?" Dean questioned peering in and back to Castiel who nodded.

"How much is it for bail?"

"I'll go check for you".

Gabriel ran up to the window and knocked on it.

"Please tell me you are getting me out of here?"

"Yes, what the hell happened Gabriel?"

"Not my fault, some drunken idiot!"

Castiel rolled his eyes as he looked at Dean who shrugged at him as he put a hand on his shoulder.

"That your boyfriend?"

Castiel spun around and glared at him again as Gabriel shrugged and walked back to his seat.

"Hold on, does he know about, well you know".

"Yes".

"$1000 for his release" the policeman said as he walked back in.

"The fuck? Why?" Dean said shocked as Castiel covered his eyes.

"Because it is, it's that or he stays here".

"You owe me Gabriel" Castiel said as Gabriel did the thumbs up in agreement.

"Do you take credit cards?"

"We do".

Cas handed it over and sighed feeling tired as Dean kissed his forehead gently. "It'll be fine".

They waited at the front as he walked out and looked at Castiel.

"Hey bro".

"You owe me $1000 Gabriel" he said and turned away as he went to walk away.

"Whoa, whoa…okay I know I don't deserve this but…I need your help!"

Cas stopped and looked back at him, Dean looking between them feeling awkward.

"I'll leave you to it" he mumbled and went to the car.

Castiel watching him before turning back to his brother. "You've been missing for years Gabriel, you just upped and left without a word! I was left with father, Michael and Anna…he discovered my secret".

Gabriel looked guilty and then shocked as he took this in. "I left because of them, the fighting was too much! Michael and that fucking stick up his ass and Anna being the lovely and doting daughter to a prick of a father".

"What about me Gabriel? I needed you back then, he found me with another boy and called me a sinner…he forced me to go to into the church, forced me to become a priest which I did because I had no one, you left Gabriel because you were selfish".

"How was I meant to know that would happen! I never wanted to leave intentionally but Michael forced me! I would have killed him if I stayed a moment longer, so I packed a bag and I left and I'm sorry…if it is any consultation I missed you" Gabriel yelled at him.

Cas turned away from him with a deep sigh as he fought back that sense of betrayal and despair.

"What do you need Gabriel?"

"Somewhere to stay, I was kicked out my place tonight, I'm homeless".

"Why should I help you?"

Gabriel walked over to him turned him back around and looked him in the eye.

"Because we're family Castiel and I am sorry but that's the past, I can only redeem myself".

"Fine, you can stay with me until you find another place to stay" he sighed and went back to the car, Gabriel climbing into the back.

"Gabriel, this is Dean".

"Boyfriend?" he nodded towards him as Dean glanced at Castiel.

"Yes Gabriel".

"Oh my! And you're a priest, well who's been a naughty boy" Gabriel chuckled and ducked his head as Castiel turned around and gave him a death glare.

"$1000 to bail you out, you better start redeeming yourself" Dean smirked as he started the car and drove them home; he stopped outside Cas' house.

"You get out and wait by the door" Castiel ordered as Gabriel saluted him and got out as he looked up at the house in awe.

"I'm so sorry about this" he muttered as Dean shrugged.

"He's your brother Cas, it's fine of course it's fine".

Castiel stared at him for a long moment and frowned as he reached out and touched his forehead.

"You don't look so well".

"Yeah well I'm in pain, it's nearly 3am but I'm alright".

"No, you have a temperature" he said and pressed his palm to the side of his neck and forehead again looking worried.

"Cas, I'm okay…go inside and spend time with your brother, I'll see you tomorrow" he said prising him off and kissing him briefly but Cas bringing him closer as he deepened it himself.

"Call me in the morning okay?"

Dean nodded and smiled encouragingly at him. "I promise! I love you… in case you didn't know".

"Oh I know, I love you too".

Castiel climbed out and eyed his brother who was looking around the quiet and sleeping village as Dean drove off back home.

~0~

What Dean didn't tell Castiel was the wound had been burning and he was in secret agony as he lay down in bed and took some painkillers and lay back breathing hard. A cold sweat had broken out all over him as he closed his eyes and prayed for sleep.

Sam knocked on the door the next morning and peeked in to see Dean curled up fast asleep.

"Dean, Dean!" he called and went over as he looked down and saw him breathing heavily and flushed red with fever.

"Jess!" he shouted and she ran in alarmed.

"What? Oh god" she said as felt his forehead and pushed the blanket off to give him air and remove some of the heat.

"He's really hot, hold on let me check…" she whispered as she lifted his top up and at the wound as she peeled back his bandage, it was inflamed and had blisters full of pus around the edges.

"Oh shit Sam, it's infected, we need a doctor now and you'd better call Cas as well".

Castiel walked downstairs to see and hear his brother snoring on the couch loudly.

"Get up you!" he said and nudged him awake.

Gabriel shot up and looked around startled. "What-what's the time?"

"8.30am, welcome to early mornings".

He groaned and fell back closing his eyes.

"Why have you woken me up?"

"Because I have work to do and you are not sleeping around this house all day".

"That is not an excuse kiddo".

Castiel shook his head smiling as he sat down at his feet.

"Don't you have a job?"

"Yes".

"Well what time do you start it?"

Gabriel sat up and stretched out his kinks before answering. "10am till 5pm, I work in a candy factory across town but I booked today off!"

Castiel bit back his laughter at his annoyed face. "Well you can help me out".

Gabriel groaned at the thought as Castiel heard his phone buzz and went to answer it. He frowned and then panicked as he answered it.

"Sam, what is it?"

"It's Dean, his wound is infected, we've called a doctor and he should be here soon".

"Just send him to the hospital, call an ambulance!"

"Jess insists doctor first and then if necessary the hospital again".

"Right I'm coming over now".

"What's up?"

"Few days ago Dean was stabbed by an old co-worker of mine; he found out about our relationship, kidnapped, tortured and nearly had him killed! He is now ill again because it is infected".

Castiel grabbed his jacket and rushed out leaving Gabriel to mind the house as he rushed up to Sam's.

Sam opened the door, letting him in as Castiel went upstairs to see Jess with a wet flannel cooling him down the best she could.

"I knew something was wrong last night" he muttered as he sat on the bed next to him and grabbed the flannel.

"Why, where did you go?"

"My brother has returned, he got arrested and I bailed him out, Dean insisted said he felt fine but he looked pale and not his usual self".

The doctor arrived and sent them out as he looked him over, Sam leaning against the wall tapping his foot in annoyance and feeling impatient as he waited it out. The doctor came out looking sombre as he handed pills to Castiel.

"Infected yes, but nothing to serious, plenty of bed rest, water and these every four hours and it should clear up…keep the wound clean and of course the stiches, he'll be fine".

Castiel gasped in relief as he went back inside to him and sat next to him as he cooled down his clammy skin, the sweat glistening on his skin.

"I knew I was right, I knew you were not ready to leave the hospital and now look at what's happened" he murmured as he kissed his temple soothingly and Dean moaned under his touch.

He opened his eyes to look up at him as he swallowed dryly and Cas grabbed the water and helped him drink it.

"I feel like utter shit" he murmured as he turned into him and buried his face in his chest.

"Infected wound and fever, take these".

Dean took the tablets and grimaced as he took the water again and washed them down and gave it back.

"Make it go away" he muttered as Cas laughed lightly.

"I really wish I could, but sometimes this happens, just go to sleep" he whispered as Dean settled on his shoulder and closed his eyes.

Jess poked her head in and smiled at him. "We have to go to university but Sam is reluctant to leave, will you stay with him?"

"Of course, I'll just have to take another day off, it's not like it's majorly important anymore"

Jess smiled at him as she looked back to Sam who looked annoyed and had his best bitch face on.

"Uni is not as important as my brother".

"He wouldn't want this, he would want you going and actually passing the damn thing, one day costs everything Sam!" she hissed as he looked away from her.

"Okay! Let's go, look after him Cas, I mean it".

Castiel nodded and looked down at him as he heard them leave still bickering. He heard his phone buzz and seen it was Gabriel.

"How's the patient?"

"Ill, so I'm staying with him".

Gabriel was silent on the phone for a moment. "Castiel what are you doing?"

"Nothing?"

"No, no I mean you and him?"

"He's everything I've been looking for".

Gabriel bit his lip at the response and couldn't help the smile as he kicked back and nodded to himself.

"Then you do know you can't have him while you have this job".

Castiel leaned his head against the top of Dean's and sighed deeply. "I know".

"Yes we were raised very religious, if father knew you would be dead right now but all I'm saying is you can't have both anymore, if your co-worker tried to kill him off can you imagine the rest if they ever found out?".

"I don't think you are the one who should be lecturing me about this Gabriel".

"Oh no course not, my little brother caught in a forbidden love affair because of his job which he could just quit!"

Castiel sighed deeply as he listened to him and knew he was talking sense.

"I'll talk to you later, goodbye Gabriel"

"Castiel!"

Cas hung up and turned it off and leaned his head against his head again and knew Gabriel was right, it was that choice again. He knew it couldn't have both at the same time, so it was one or the other, Dean or the job.

The jod didn't seem important anymore, he would give anything for him now but at the back of his mind he was terrified. He was terrified of what could happen if he gave that up, his father would be informed, Michael and Anna as well. They would find him and find out the truth of him and Dean, Dean in danger again was an impossible thought.

His family was dangerous, this decision was going to cost him anyway, but he would not loose Dean. He sighed and leaned towards him brushing his lips over his as he stirred a little but not before Cas soothed him back to sleep. No, he couldn't lose him now.

**I love sick Dean :') I apologise for torturing him. Anyway as always please review **


	16. Chapter 16

"I think I'm going to be sick" Dean muttered as Cas moved him and pushed his head down into the bucket next to the bed and heard him retch.

"It's okay, just get it out" he whispered as he rubbed his back soothingly.

"Seriously why are you still here? I would be running for the hills, this is three times now!" he moaned as he sat up and drank the water.

"You are sick Dean, this is understandable…I am not running anywhere" he whispered as Dean looked at him with a shake of his head.

"Well you're insane then".

"No, I am looking after you like I promised"

He grimaced in pain as he lay back down and closed his eyes.

"Does it still hurt? I think it's time for your next…" he said and shook the box at him.

"They taste like shit, no, no" he muttered.

"Had experience on that have you? Just think I have kissed that mouth as well" Castiel muttered amused as he handed two to him.

"No! They taste rank though, please don't do this to me!" he muttered pouting at him as Castiel touched his bottom lip and smirked.

"They are making you better, why would I want to throw them away if they are making you better?"

"Just do it and I'll do better without them?"

Castiel laughed and nodded as pressed them into his hand. "Take them now or I'll take something away from you".

"Oh what's that?"

Castiel moved towards him as he hovered over his lips teasing him, Dean leaned towards him, Castiel moving back as Dean gaped at him.

"Unless you take them right now, I won't kiss you again and I mean it".

Dean scoffed and took them as he drank it down and gagged a little as he glared at him.

"You are cruel!"

"Yes but you're fever is going down now" he muttered and pressed a hand to his neck and smiled.

"I think you owe me something".

"Really? Just after you've been sick as well".

Dean reached over and kissed him anyway.

"We've been through much worse, bodily fluids, blood, I think you can handle that" Dean smirked as Castiel grimaced a little.

"You're cute" Dean said as he poked him a little and lay back down.

"Cute?"

"Yeah, of course you are".

"Yes I take that as a compliment I guess, but cute?"

Dean dragged him down next to him and brushed his hair back as he studied him.

"You're alright I guess".

Castiel scoffed at him and went to sit up when he was pulled back down.

"One thing, you take things way too seriously but apart from that no, you are far from alright…you are mind-blowingly gorgeous, seriously and I adore these" he said as looked into his eyes. "For being a virgin a few months back, you are excellent at it".

Castiel laughed a little and nodded as a he could feel himself blushing.

"I honestly don't know what I would be without you right now and it probably sounds really stupid but it's the truth, I think I was always meant to meet you Cas".

"Really? Despite everything that has happened?"

"Because of all that it's made me realise how I truly feel".

Cas understood the feeling as he leaned over and kissed him gently. "Go back to sleep".

"Oh yeah, just ruin my moment why don't you?"

"I feel exactly the same about you; probably more…I think I know what to do".

Dean frowned in confusion at that. "Know what to do?"

"Go to sleep".

Dean sighed and shook his head as he turned away from him and felt pushed out, he didn't like secrets. Cas bit his lip as he looked at the back of his head, he moved towards him and kissed his neck gently.

"I will tell you…just not now, I need to think first" he murmured.

Dean ignored him as he buried his face in the pillow.

He sighed as he stroked the back of his hair and moved out going downstairs to leave him in peace, Dean watched him leave feeling upset and confused, he had a feeling he wasn't going to like this little "secret".

Gabriel came to visit as Castiel gave him instructions to the house.

"Whoa this is a nice house! What's up bro?"

"You were right about the job and Dean, I can't have both and I know that, I've always known that so I've made my decision".

"Really, do you think it is the right choice?" Gabriel said as he leaned against the counter. "You have to think about this Castiel, this is your life we're talking about".

"You are the one who told me to choose! Don't start back tracking now".

"I'm not; I'm just making sure you are not choosing the wrong one".

"I am it is the right decision for both of us".

Gabriel raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "Well… you better tell him soon then".

"I know".

~0~

Dean remained annoyed and refused to speak to him as Castiel went up to see him.

"Stop ignoring me Dean".

Dean pushed himself off the bed still ignoring him as Cas reached and grabbed his wrist.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to get out of here, the painkillers and other shit are working, and I feel better".

"You have to be joking…Dean, you are not well enough".

"I know if I am or not, I feel fine, the sickness is gone and my fever seems to have disappeared, let's call it a miracle"

"No medication, Dean…"

"You going to tell me what are keeping from me yet?"

"Yes, but when you are well enough".

Dean scoffed and tugged his wrist away. "It's all secrets and lies with us, just tell me!".

"It's the choice again! I have to pick between you and the job!".

He stared at him shocked and then it dawned on him. "You are going to pick the job again aren't you?"

"Dean just listen to me…"

"Get out".

Castiel stopped mid speech and looked at him hurt. "You won't even let me finish?"

"No, get out now before I throw you out"

Dean stared away from him as Castiel sat there confused and then nodded as he looked at him one final time before leaving. Dean covered his face in anger and frustration as he got up and punched the wall, he hissed in pain as he looked at his split knuckle.

Castiel stood out the foot of the stairs and shook his head, he didn't even know his decision yet, he wouldn't let him explain his choice, his choice being him.

He decided he would tell him when he was well enough; he was tired, ill and wouldn't believe him right now.

Sam and Jess returned to see a moody Dean in the kitchen.

"What are you doing up! Where the hell is Castiel?" Sam cried.

"I sent him away, the dick is choosing his job over me again so you know what fuck him" he muttered bitterly as Sam turned to Jess who frowned in concern.

"Are you 100% sure that is his decision?"

"Yes!"

Jess felt very confused by this, Castiel took him back after the Zachariah business without hesitation, and he needed him and now all of the sudden he was giving him up?

"Try talking to him, Dean I think…"

"No".

Sam and Jess exchanged a look as he shrugged and went to put his stuff away as Jess put a pizza in the oven and made salad for Sam.

The next two days, Castiel stayed away and received word that he was doing okay and he was up and walking, he knew it was time to go back and explain.

Dean was walking outside when he saw Castiel walk up towards him.

"Oh, what do you want?"

"I need to talk to you, I left you for a couple of days to let you calm down and heal without added pain…will you let me explain?"

"No, it's just excuses! Bullshit excuses about how it is the right decision!"

"You don't even know what I've chosen, you just assume!" Cas yelled.

Neighbours and people walking by looked over to them and from there windows at the disturbance of seeing there priest and a local arguing.

"I don't care, I know what it is and I have had this argument with you before, fuck it, I'm done!" he said and started to walk away.

Castiel shook his head as he prepared to reveal it to their village.

"I choose you!"

Dean stopped and turned back to look at him surprised. "What?"

"You, I choose you Dean… I'll quit my job and I'll spend the rest of my life with you!"

Neighbours were looking at each other in alarm, but they ignored them as they looked at each other.

"Seriously? Big step Cas" he muttered and Castiel felt the echo of that memory, the first time they had slept with each other.

"I love you".

Dean's eye widened as people gasped around them and he fought back a smile as he walked back to him, grabbing his collar and pulling him into a deep kiss, Castiel clinging to him as they kissed in front of the whole village.

"I love you too" he whispered as he leant his forehead against his. "We've just done this in front of the entire village you know".

Castiel cast a look around as the women gossiped; the men frowned in confusion and shock as they talked amongst themselves.

"Let them talk" he whispered back as he kissed him again.

"I feel very stupid now, I have been a dick" he muttered.

"I forgive you" he smirked as Dean gave him a look.

"Come on" Cas whispered as he grabbed his hand and tugged him back to his house ignoring the looks people gave them.

"Ha, we are never going to live this down" Dean laughed to himself.

"Village gossip and this will go on for many years" he muttered as he unlocked the door.

"Where's Gabriel?" he said walking into the living room looking around.

"Work".

Cas shut the door before turning around and kissing him hard, Dean moaned as he shoved him back into the wall.

"Shit" he groaned as Cas unzipped him and touched him gently. "This revenge?"

"For that little act in the corner of Sam's house? Of course not" he whispered as he stroked him gently. He closed his eyes as Castiel pumped him lazily, the feeling coursing through him was unimaginable as he kissed under his jaw.

Castiel let go of him suddenly as he bit his lip and dropped to his knee, pulling down his boxers in the process, Dean groaned at the action as he watched him lick the head softly before taking him fully and deep throating him.

"Christ!" he gasped out as he gripped the top of his hair. Castiel feelings the sparks of pleasure at having his hair pulled, he secretly enjoyed it.

Dean pulled his hair harder as he thrusted into his mouth being careful not to choke him as Castiel sucked him.

"Shit Cas..." he groaned and felt the burn as he felt close.

He climaxed hard and fast into his hot waiting mouth and gasped at the feeling of him swallowing around him. Castiel pulls off and licked his bottom lip as Dean tugged him up and pulled him into a kiss as his tongue swept his mouth.

"Holy shit, you're good" he breathed as Castiel moved to his neck.

"Good teacher".

"Oh really? He taught you anything else?"

Cas shrugged and smirked at him as Dean stepped out of his clothes and undressed Cas shoving himself off the wall and pushing him to the couch.

"Your final exam" he muttered to him as Castiel flipped them over so he was straddling him.

"But be careful" he said and looked down at his knife wound.

"Of course, let's get top marks shall we?" he whispered as he kissed down his jaw softly as he reached his chest nipping and leaving marks.

Dean prepared himself as Castiel kissed him hard and pushed inside him slowly; he pulled away and bit his lip as he adjusted himself to Dean who was tight around him. Dean gasped loudly as he moved deeper till he was fully inside him.

He looked down at Dean for a moment biting his lip hard as he watched him pant heavily, leaning down they kissed as Castiel moved slowly in to him before getting into a pace. Dean moaning at the tightness of him inside him and the heat as he arched his back off the couch, Cas grabbed his hands and entwined them together with his as he groaned loudly.

"Cas…" Dean moaned again and again as he thrusted harder into him. This was the connection he missed, they fit together perfectly and now he was his forever, the job would be gone and he could claim him as his own.

"I love you so much" Castiel gasped out as Dean nodded in agreement, he grabbed hold of Dean again and pumped him in time with his thrusts inside him.

"Come with me" he whispered.

Dean closed his eyes again as he nodded frantically.

"Are you close?"

Castiel nodded as well as he threw back his head panting heavily as he felt stars explode behind his lids and a rush of heat as he cummed inside him, Dean following straight after as he climaxed into his waiting hand and on to their stomachs.

Castiel breathed heavily as he looked down at him and liked the sight of him flushed and his eyes half glazed over. He pulled out slowly as Dean pulled him down to lie on his chest as he kissed his forehead.

"A*" he muttered as Castiel chucked softly.

Dean wrapped his legs around his waist and held him as he stroked his back softly.

"What happens now?"

"I quit my job and I live with my choice" he muttered quietly.

"Me and you forever then?"

"Forever if you'll let me?"

Dean tilted his chin up towards him and kissed him tenderly as he looked into his eyes.

"I'm never letting you go" he whispered gently.

"Those are the words I wanted to hear".

Castiel felt content as he lay on top of him and closed his eyes feeling happier than he had in a long time.

~0~

"You are 100% sure?"

"Why would I lie to you?" Zachariah said.

"My son is in a homosexual relationship in North Dakota at this very moment?"

"Yes, he knows he is wrong but he doesn't care…he loves him apparently".

He blinked at him shocked and nodded to himself.

"It's about time I visited my son".

Zachariah smiled to himself and nodded in approval, his final revenge was good he thought to himself. Castiel's father was coming for him and he was looking forward to witnessing it himself.

**pretty please review! Thank you!**


	17. Chapter 17

Dean wrapped his arms around him as he got off the phone and gently nuzzled his neck.

"All done?"

"Done, I am now unemployed" he sighed as leant against him.

"You'll find something and I still have that job thankfully" he muttered as he placed gentle kisses under his ear.

"Stop teasing me" he whispered as Dean moved his hands up his t-shirt and placed his hands on his skin as he traced them along his ribs. Castiel shivered under his touch as he turned in his arms and kissed him fiercely.

"Okay you guys stop eating each other" Gabriel said as he came into the living room eating a sandwich.

"I thought you were at work" Castiel said as he frowned at him turning back in his arms as Dean held him again.

"I was its called sick leave" he winked as Castiel shook his head at him.

"We are going to need the money now Gabriel".

"I know, it's one day! Please forgive me".

Dean smirked as he kissed his shoulder gently.

"I'm going to see Jo" he whispered as he kissed him goodbye.

"Bye Gabriel"

"Bye Deano!"

Cas watched him leave as he sat down next to Gabriel with a sigh.

"What's up?"

"Just concerned, Zachariah is still out there and there has been no word, nothing and it worries me because I know him and he'll return".

Gabriel blinked as he considered this and shrugged.

"Maybe he's just gone? That embarrassed he was caught out and his little set up was foiled by you and his brother he fled"

"You think?"

"Hell yes" he grinned and offered him a sandwich causing Castiel to roll his eyes in response.

Cas' phone rang and he picked it up in confusion at the caller id.

"Hello"

"Castiel".

His breath halted as he heard her voice.

"Anna, why are you calling me?"

Gabriel looked at him shocked as he pointed at the phone. "Anna?"

He nodded in response and gave him a look to tell him to be quiet.

"I'm calling to warn you, he knows Castiel and he's coming to see you now"

"Knows what?"

"You and that man…in a relationship?"

He gasped a little and his eyes went wide in fear as he looked over to Gabriel.

"Father is coming here?"

Gabriel's mouth fell open and it would have been comical if Castiel wasn't scared at this moment.

"Hold on, how do you know that is he coming and how do you know about my relationship?"

"Because he told us Castiel, Michael refused to warn you said you had it coming but I don't and I am telling you run now or confront him, end this fight Castiel!"

"Thank you"

"Good luck" he heard her whisper and then the dial tone as he hung up himself.

"Father is coming here and I bet you it was Zachariah who told him…I can't do this, I can't talk to him".

"So…you're going run?"

"I don't know" he said as Gabriel sighed and patted his arm.

"I was like the last to find out! I mean seriously you and the village priest?" she laughed as he shrugged.

"It just happened…I fell for him and he fell for me, it happens Jo!"

"Hey, I am not judging you, you make a handsome couple if I may so myself, shame you're both gay".

"Bi-sexual actually" Dean chuckled as she gave him a look.

His phone buzzed and seen an urgent text from Cas.

"I got to go"

"You only just got here" she whined as he nodded staring at the text confused.

"I know I'll make it up to you" he said kissing her cheek before rushing out and going back to Cas'.

"Okay where's the fire?" he called as he walked in and jumped when Cas pulled him into a hug.

"My father knows and he's coming to see me".

"What? How?"

"Zachariah is my best guess, ultimate revenge for him…I don't know what to do about it, Anna called to warn me and she told me to run or confront him".

He looked terrified as he even considered that and Dean held him close as he rubbed his back soothingly.

"Cas, we'll run if we have to okay? I won't let anything happen to you".

"I don't have a job Dean and neither do you, if we ran where would we go?"

"I have a lot of money in an account saved away and I bet you do to, right?"

"Yes".

"Then we'll find somewhere won't we?"

"I don't know" he murmured as he leant his forehead against his chest in defeat. He couldn't take Dean away from his brother and he didn't want to leave Gabriel, he knew he had to confront him once and for all.

"We're staying, I can't be afraid of him anymore Dean".

Dean nodded as he kissed the top of his head gently. "I'm here for you okay; nothing will split us up Cas, nothing".

~0~

Castiel was curled up asleep with his head in Dean's lap as he watched television when Dean heard a car outside.

Gabriel ran downstairs and darted in the living room.

"It's him"

Dean gently shook him awake as he moaned and sat up blinking.

"He's here Cas".

Castiel looked up at Gabriel who nodded at him as Castiel pushed himself up and looked outside to see a black BMW outside. Castiel opened the door to see his father and Zachariah waiting, Zachariah waved at him as Dean glared from behind and charged towards him.

Castiel reaching out and pulling him back. "No! Don't do anything stupid" he muttered as he dragged him back behind himself.

Gabriel came out as well as they stood side by side.

"Oh my sons, the sinners"

Gabriel barked out a laugh as he shakes his head in disbelief.

"Sinners? What, I ran away and Castiel here is gay? Oh yeah, real sinners daddy!" he shouted at him.

"Shut your mouth Gabriel! I have not seen you in years, you could have been dead for all I knew!" he shouted back.

"Would you even care! I mean it's all about Michael and Anna isn't it, it was also Castiel but you found him with another boy and that was it…forced him into the church but that didn't work did it!"

He glared at his eldest son and then looked at Castiel.

"You know why I'm here, how could you?".

Cas swallowed and looked at him determined. "Like Gabriel said, do you even care? I fell in love with a man, this man behind me and I don't regret a single thing!"

"You disgust me; this is against our religion, a sin!"

"Then I am not religious then, you can't pick and choose your sexuality and change it the next day father, it is who I am and who I have always been, I love him and no matter what you say or even do I will always go back to him and be with him".

Gabriel looked at him in approval and crossed his arms waiting for their fathers response, Dean peered over his shoulder as he touched the small of his back in comfort.

Zachariah shook his head and looked towards him as he also waited for the response.

"Then you are no son of mine, neither of you…"

"Going to disown us daddy? Disown your own flesh and blood, if anyone is disgusting it's you, we're your children" Gabriel shouted.

"No, I would never do that but I want nothing more to do with you, I accept and respect you as my children but that is it! I am so disappointed in you Castiel, so disappointed" he whispered as Castiel looked away.

"So am I, in you" he muttered in response.

His father shook his head as Zachariah gaped in shock.

"That's it? Don't you realise what your son is!" he said as he looked at him and up to Castiel.

"I guess a man of free will now" he muttered as Castiel looked at him shocked as he got into the car and drove off leaving Zachariah there.

Dean pulled out his phone and called the police.

"Zach, yeah you stay right there you dick! Police on their way right now!"

Zachariah gaped and hurried off anyway, Gabriel laughing amused as he turned to Castiel.

"That was bizarre, bye bye dad…for good! Can't say it's a tragic loss".

Gabriel went back inside as Castiel turned to Dean and walked into his open embrace.

"Wow, well done you, I am proud of you".

"It still hurts; I love my father even despite everything".

"I am not surprised, a lot of people would but look at us, and we are still together!"

Castiel looked at him and smiled warmly as he kissed him deeply with a huge sigh.

"Do you reckon we'll have any more after us?"

"Oh yeah, probably armies of Christians coming for your blood".

Cas smirked at the joke. "Will you fight with me?"

"Of course, bring it on!"

Castiel wrapped his arms around him and Dean held him tight in response as they looked forward to their future together.

**review please! 3 – have a heart because you've given me loads and I bloody love them!**


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